You think I am perfect, Well, I certainly am not!

By April 28, 2013November 14th, 2014My Journey, self awareness

You didn’t, did you?  Sometimes writing a blog like this makes people think you are in some way superior to them and frankly that is just not true and I do not, not even for one second, believe that.  Getting to ‘Perfect‘ is not even an aim. 

I am just a girl with an opinion and a desire to inspire and encourage others to fulfill their highest purpose any way I can.  Some weeks, like this last few, are full of trials and tribulations but I choose to rise above them any way I can (sometimes in the most imperfect way, but I would rather move forward looking crazy than stand still hoping change will happen to me).  So I say, perfect is for people who cannot be bothered to actually live.  I am certainly not one of them.

Tonight, for instance, V – my oldest princess – decided to swallow a square bead.

Perfect? Me? No way!

Similar to the cube V swallowed

Don’t ask me why she swallowed a bead or how she managed to get it down her, I have not the foggiest idea!  My first inclination, after terror, was to yell at her but I am currently reading a book on ‘Real love’ and I know that she is already scared enough without me coming down on her like a ton of bricks so I try to restrain myself…

I cannot help expressing disappointment though.  She is, after all, my oldest.  I had hoped we were past this stage but no, here I am, having to keep an eye on her poo for the next few days/weeks to ensure it comes out without tearing a hole in anything. 😮

Oh well, the joys of REAL motherhood!  Has anyone else had a child swallow something like that?

I am looking across at my 2 year old, H, who has decided to write all over a book (meant for reading) for some reason.  Again, I get to restrain my natural inclination to YELL!  and try to pleasantly say, “please stop, write on the paper instead”

Perfect Mum?I have been working through some of my own ‘mummy’ issues this last two weeks as well.  Anyone else have any of those?

How do you cope with them?  Especially now that you are a mother and you KNOW they may come back to haunt you when your kids are older.  Sometimes, becoming a mother makes you realise how wonderful or ‘not so’ wonderful your own mother was.  Dealing with some of those issues can be pretty heart wrenching, I have found.  The thing is, as I get older and hopefully wiser, I begin to realise that my mother, like I, did the best she knew how to do so what is the point in holding onto past issues and concerns?

But does the realisation make the emotional tension any easier?  Not really.  I still need to work through the hurts and choose to forgive and create a new relationship with her.  Also, if for nothing else, it means I am free from some of the nonsense.  Holding onto grudges takes a toll as well, doesn’t it?

The joys of REAL relationships.

Being the person I am, upfront, outspoken and determined to live a life with purpose and meaning can mean that sometimes things considered normal by most people can not be considered normal by me.  This tends to lead to conflict when I have to assert my position on a subject or an expectation someone else places on me that I do not agree with.  I definitely am still learning to be graceful about it.

Being African and living in a European country, married to a European man, comes with its own conflicts as I try to decide which parts of my African roots are not really bringing any benefit to my expanding life.  Figuring out whether I am being selfish or not can be a source of great FUN, (Not!)

The joys of being a REAL person.

Anyway, all I am trying to say is that perfection is not something to aim for.  It is simply unnecessary.  I, like you, my friends, am just living life everyday and trying to be the very best I can as I develop in my various roles as Mum, Wife, Business Woman, Singer, Speaker, Daughter, Sister, Friend and more.

Lets journey together…

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