I remember lying down on the ground in my kitchen and WAILING.
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Literally crying my eyes out for the time I had spent trying to appease the people in my life.
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Trying to hold on to me when everyone seemed to think that I had to be something different in order to be accepted.
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I remembered the years of loneliness even though I was surrounded by those who would have said they loved me and still would say that.
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But they could not see me.
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Not the real me.
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I had to jump through their hoops or be considered the rebel.
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I was the rebel and I felt all the guilt of being the rebel but I could not conform, though I did try many a time.
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And still, it was not enough.
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And then I took on the mistaken belief that if those who should love me unconditionally, did not buy into the real me, then how the heck would the marketplace buy into the real me?
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And so began many years of being everything EXCEPT what I wanted to be.
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Because I had to be responsible.
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Because I had to pay my bills.
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Because it was common sense.
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Ignore the growing ache within me telling me that something was wrong.
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I was an adult.
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I had to do adult things.
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Put the dreams to bed.
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Real life is here and real life is tough, yuk and hard.
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If you get to do the things you want, it will be during your ever-decreasing spare time.
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And to distract me from the growing despair within, I would get engaged in all the relationship dramas – Mine and everyone else’s.
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I would tell myself that I was loving people by helping them solve conflict but really, it was all a distraction from the despair within me.
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And finally, I saw the light – I was not getting wealthier, trying to deny my true self. I was more worried, more anxious and more despairing and the people I was trying to appease were STILL NOT HAPPY with me.
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And so there I lay, on the kitchen floor, wailing at all the time wasted.
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And I made a promise to myself – “NEVER AGAIN would I deny ME.”
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And now… I am wealthier.
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I am more at peace.
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I am closer to the Divine.
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I am slimmer.
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I love me more.
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I am free, fulfilled, financially abundant and love-drenched.
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No, it was not the easiest or even quickest journey.
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No, I am not perfect.
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I still sabotage at times.
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But I see me now and I have an awesome coach who helps me see, so that I can clear.
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Are you done with being all things to EVERYONE except you?
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Are you ready to get on the path to true wealth?
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START HERE: The Abundance Library – RosemaryNonnyKnight.com/abundancelibrary
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Much Amazing Love
