This morning, I was standing by my window in the kitchen, listening to cars driving by at this silly time of the morning…
I could see the parents hurrying their kids off to school
Hurrying themselves off to work
Most would have woken up with a groan at another Monday where they have to do this…
Some would dream of a different life but then with a sigh, they would remind themselves that ‘this is life and I best just get on with it’.
And I remembered that that was me, 6 or more years ago…
Struggling with debt
Wanting to help the world and so saying yes to people I really should have said no to and telling myself it was the right thing to do…
As a result, I chained myself to a job that I did not like, but felt I HAD TO do in order to get by.
At least, I went self-employed fairly early on in my career as I decided the company I was working for, did not pay me enough.
But becoming a locum pharmacist also meant I travelled far to get the good rates of pay – There were too many pharmacists where I was so the business owners negotiated the prices down so I travelled 2-3 hours each way to get paid ‘well’
And I was resigned to it…
In some ways, I did not like it or dislike it
I did not think of it
It was just life
Just what you had to do to get by
And in fact, I believed myself to be pretty blessed to have had parents that guided me strongly to become a professional…
Because I had bought into the lie that it was stable and secure and so, I suppose for the person I was then, it was best to just go to a job and make the most of it.
Except I have always been a dreamer, a visionary…
I had SEEN the life I was supposed to live and this was not it…
In fact, the visiting prophets had confirmed my vision so there was that…
But I prided myself on being practical so I did all my dreaming on some evenings, some weekends…
I tried to fit in the things I really wanted to do, at church…
But it was someone else’s platform and vision and there were always hoops to jump through…
I was one of those that hoped I would be given a platform to sing my heart out and become the most popular worship leader on the planet so I was active at church, waiting, waiting, waiting for my moment…
Waiting for someone to discover me and propel me to fame and worldwide service
I felt so proud for thinking this way so I tried not to but…
I had seen the vision of what I was called to do and I wanted it bad…
And Also I was waiting for someone to give me permission to do it.
But many do it.
I did it.
I woke up.
I realised finally that if I did not take full responsibility for my life then I would remain stagnant and stuck.
Yes, the money may have been fine as a pharmacist but it was capped and also…
It is not and has never been just about the money for me
It is about purpose
And yes, ALSO total abundance in my finances and everywhere
I have always known that I am a child of the Divine…
I have always known that the same power that allowed Jesus to overcome the grave, lives in me
I bought into some dogma about being a worm of the earth and allowed that to keep me playing small
But I AWAKENED!
I stopped buying into the nonsense and started questioning it
I stopped allowing others to tell me what I was allowed to do when in my heart of hearts, I knew what I was called to do
I deliberately designed my life
And now, I LOVE IT!
I home educate my princesses
My hubby works from home
We live in a dream house
I more than replaced my pharmacist income
I get to do the work I dreamt of doing
My relationship with the Divine just gets better and better as I fully open up to who I really am and pull down the walls within me…
Yes, there are areas in my life that I am still growing into and I am always willing to do the inner work
Overall, I am happy
And I can see even more clearly where it is all going
AND IT IS GOOD!
So, as I stood there making my tea, I felt a wave of gratitude welling up within me as I launched into song
Honey, I see you on the precipice of great change
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Much Amazing Love