I was at spin class this morning as I normally am on a Monday.
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Sitting there, sweating away, shifting my legs so fast I can hardly see them sometimes and communing with Papa.
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Feeling loved, Being Love. Allowing myself to heal and all of that gloriously awesome stuff.
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Anyway, we are getting to the end and the spin class instructor says something that stands out (possibly because I have not written my blog for the day and I am always sensitive to ideas that cross my path as I know Papa can speak through anything).
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Anyway, she said that the default conditioning of the world at large is not to push too hard at anything.
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No one wants to be on top because that could make you the subject of attention which could be derisive and insulting.
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But the converse of that, of course, is that no one wants to be at the bottom, either.
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And she was just congratulating us for choosing to push ourselves hard in spin class and exhorting us not to hold back at all, but to go all the way in.
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And I guess that is my philosophy on life but I too have fallen foul of the ‘don’t stand out too much’ line of thinking because it has DEFINITELY bitten me on the butt many, MANY times in the past. And if you are like me, which you probably are if you enjoy my work, then at some point, ususally when you are not quite paying attention, you stop putting yourself out there all that much.
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Slowly, surely, you pull back.
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You try to be one of the crowd.
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You try to just blend in because the insults and derision and playful ridicule you have taken, hurts.
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And it might even come from those who love you. They get a little triggered by the fact that you are going all out and they throw out a thoughtless comment and you, also thoughtlessly take it on board and make it mean something terrible about you. But you do not do it deliberately, all this happens very passively and so you slow down a little, play it a little smaller, try not to rock the boat again so that no one says anything yukky about you.
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And if you are not careful, you look back at your life, one day and realise that all the joy of the push, all the rush and the energy and the enthusiasm you used to feel for life, is. gone.
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And you do not even know when it went.
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But it all started because somewhere in the back of your mind, you got the idea that the world does not like it when you try too hard to get anything and so, you better stop that… and you did.
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But look around you, love… Do you like what you see?
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Do you sometimes think you could be a lot further in life if you had just stopped slowing down?
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What limits have you placed on yourself because you are scared of being that odd person that is ‘TOO MUCH’?
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Are you bored with your life?
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I got to being bored a few years ago and thank God for a particular coach who reminded me of just how much of me I had gotten rid of, in the quest to be accepted.
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I started to take myself back.
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I continue to take myself back.
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I notice time and time again how easy it is to fall for fake limits.
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Limits that the world tells me I should accept.
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OH, ROSEMARY, you will burn out if you keep doing that.
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Don’t you need more sleep, Rosemary?
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How long will you keep that going before you hurt yourself, Rosemary?
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Won’t people think you are too desperate, Rosemary?
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And the truth is, sometimes those questions are ones I have asked myself and allowed them to hold me back and then one day, I notice that I am doing it again and I take the limits off and it is like ‘ WAHEY! I am free again, life is fun again, I am in love with my life again. Why the heck did I allow such a silly limit to exist?”
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And I am back until I realise that I have done it again.
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I learnt to stop looking to see what others are doing and just listen to the whisper in my soul.
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The childlike spirit within me that calls me to more and more play and joy and happiness.
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Is it time you did the same?
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Is it time you stopped allowing the world’s default to be your own?
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AWAKEN, my love!
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AWAKEN!
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And hey before you go, have you seem my latest program -WHEN FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS HURT – Come take a look at RosemaryNonnyknight.com/whenfamilyrelationshipshurt. You will know if you need to join me for this one.
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Much Amazing Love!
