Today I felt anxious…
I woke up…
I chanted my affirmations…
Prayed my prayers
Connected with Papa
And still felt anxious…
Anxious that dreams will not happen quickly enough for me
Anxious that all I do, is in vain
Anxious that I am crazy to have such a big dream
Anxious that I am even crazier for thinking I can bring it all to life…
Anxious
Anxious
Anxious
And after fighting it for a while…
I simply leaned in…
Leaned on Papa – I do this thing where I sit on His lap in my imagination…
And I allowed the feelings to wash all over me
I stopped trying to make them go away
I just let them be
While choosing to consciously remind myself that my vision is my permission…
While consciously choosing to remind myself that I get to choose how my life plays out…
That I am capable of my calling…
I reminded myself that this is just the stretch…
The growth
The expansion
It does not need to mean anything more than that…
I chose not to give it any more meaning
I just let the feelings be while I did the next thing
And the next thing
And the next thing
With my eyes firmly on my vision
Even as I write this, I feel the tension…
The tight feeling in my chest
The wondering if I am broken somewhere
The desire to run away
To hide
To definitely not write about how I feel at times
The fear yells that I need to hide this away
Pretend I am always perfect
Pretend I always feel perfect
But Papa looks on lovingly
And reminds me that there is nothing to hide in love
And so, today, I come with a message of hope that despite the despair and anxiety that can sometimes overshadow you, it is okay.
You can keep moving forward
Do not give it too much meaning
Just let it be while you keep your eyes on the vision and stay connected to the Source of all…
While you keep taking the next step
And when you really cannot move because the feeling is just too overwhelming then rest, relax, cry, wail if you need to…
Do not make yourself wrong
Choose not to wallow too long though
I find that action tends to make everything seem a little brighter and lighter
And then I can praise myself for choosing to keep showing up for my life regardless of how I felt
Which in turn makes me feel even better.
Please remember.
- Your vision is your permission.
- You are capable of your calling.
- You are much more powerful than you realise.
- Yes you can get everything you want.
- You are loved. You are enough. You are worthy. You deserve the very best of everything.
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