This morning started differently. I dropped the firstborn princess off at work for 6am, hit the gym, burned 1,000 calories, and was still back home before 7:30am.
Then I decided to sit in a coffee shop—to journal, think, read, write, affirm, and just be…
As I sipped my whole milk latte, I picked up a romantic novel about a girl who had a car accident that changed her life.
And just like that, it brought back the memory of the accident that changed mine.
The one where my dad ended up paralysed from the neck down.
The one where I’m told the car somersaulted three times—with us all inside it.
The one where I was thrown out of the car, lying there stunned, hearing the engine rev behind me, wondering if they were about to leave me.
I remember turning around to call out—to plead not to be abandoned—only to see the car, all crumpled up. My pregnant mother, my father, my older sister, the six-month-old baby brother I’d been carrying on my lap, the house-help—still inside. And the car that used to tower over me… now shorter than little me.
As that memory flashed across my mind, a thought dropped in:
“What price are you still paying?”
That moment changed the trajectory of our family’s life. My life.
My sister and I used to wonder how different everything could have been if the accident hadn’t happened.
That one traumatic event—still capable of bringing me to tears—carried a heavy, ongoing cost.
And just when I think I’ve fully healed, another layer peels back.
Like recently, after yet another car accident, I suddenly realised (or should I say, the Divine pointed out)—I’ve had more car accidents than anyone I know.
And then the Divine showed me why:
- – That I’m still, unconsciously, trying to complete my dad’s story
- – That I hold myself back because my father didn’t get to be as successful as he wanted to be (or so I believe), and there’s a part of me that thinks, “How dare I?”
- – That I’ve used car accidents to inefficiently create change
- – That deep down, I still fear abandonment
- – That I feel a lot of hidden anxiety when driving or being driven
- – That sometimes, I’m strangely careless behind the wheel, as though I’m deliberately inviting chaos
- – That I catch myself imagining car accidents while driving—even though I know how powerful imagination is
- – That I still carry guilt for being a “bad daughter” who didn’t want to care for her father, and maybe I’ve been punishing myself with these accidents ever since
It was also during that first crash that I took on the belief that the Devil was more powerful than God. Adults around me said it was black magic, that someone cursed my dad. And my 6/7-year-old self concluded that God must be powerless if such evil could strike us down.
That belief fed a deep, bone-level fear that I wasn’t safe in this world. That life was stacked against me.
I’ve healed a lot of this. But the fact that tears still rise when I recall it tells me there may still be more. And thankfully, I know I don’t have to handle it alone. The Divine is with me. I’ll be guided—either inward or toward the right support.
(Note to darling coaches and therapists on the prowl—this is not an invitation to pitch me. 😁)
Still, the question lingers—not just for me, but for you:
What price are you still paying?
What moment in your life still has its claws in you?
Are you aware of where your repeating patterns come from?
Are you anchored to a past event that quietly dictates what you allow yourself to be, do, or have?
Are you telling a story that limits you, based on one moment of pain?
Or are you—like I used to be—avoiding all the “silly emotional craziness”?
So focused on surviving that you can’t see how your avoidance is keeping you stuck in the same cycles?
Ignorance is not bliss—not when you’re an Ambitious Spiritual Person with big ideas, dreams, and vision. We don’t have the luxury of avoidance or passivity.
We MUST live life deliberately if we’re ever going to reach our goals.
We must switch on the light within when we feel that nudge.
You don’t have to be afraid of facing the pain.
The past may feel powerful, but it cannot overpower you.
Your authority is in the present.
Your point of power is here—not to rewrite the past—but to free yourself from it, once and for all.
Facing the pain won’t break you. It will heal, empower, and unlock your next level.
You know I’m not into unnecessary navel-gazing or endless digging—but ignoring the Divine’s nudges? That’s just plain foolish.
That discomfort is a sign. It’s your answered prayer to rise. The Divine is showing you what needs healing to take the next leap.
Ignoring that keeps you looping through the same patterns, wondering why everything feels harder than it should.
WAKE UP.
What is the price you’re still paying?
You don’t have to anymore.
Face it.
Heal it.
RISE into your true design.
I can help.
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