I know you know this…
Kinda…
But I am not sure you REALLY KNOW this…
I did not know it for a long, long time…
I kept up with the begging and pleading with the sky for Santa to come…
Except I did not call Him Santa…
I called him God
Maybe you call him Source, Universe, Goddess or whatever…
And I expected that if I prayed (begged and pleaded) in just the right way, with the right words and I lived the life I thought He wanted me to live then I just might get what I want…
Maybe…
Or at least be happy…
I was brought up to think that way
My religion taught me to think that way
I allowed myself to think that way
All the power was given to the man in the sky who would come save the day
And it felt like the right thing to do
Except it was the passive thing to do
Because while I waited for the Santa to come save me, I let myself off the hook of figuring out why I was not receiving what I ALSO read in my holy book, was mine
I could blame Santa for not bringing me my goodies…
Maybe it was not His Will
And you know His ways are way beyond my ways
And His thoughts are beyond my thoughts
So you know, maybe He just did not want this for me…
Maybe, I just need to wait and pray some more…
And feel sorry for myself that this Santa was withholding stuff while at the same time, learning new prayer techniques that kept me hidden from the world and completely hidden from the nonsense happening under the hood of my own psyche.
And well, life is not all that bad, is it?
I can make do
And sound like a holy martyr at the same time as I suffer through this…
And then, finally, when the agitation inside of me got tooooo much, I went completely the other way where I worked myself like a dog to try and make it happen all on my own…
Completely disconnected from Source…
Kinda angry with Him as well, if I am honest…
And STILL NOT looking under the hood of my psyche…
There will be more than enough time for that when I get ‘there’ or so I told myself while still holding myself apart from my own good…
Papa got my attention finally…
There is a place somewhere in the middle of…
Complete dependence and passivity, ‘I will just sit here feeling like a martyr because I have to give up my vision because the Lord has not come to save the day but I keep praying, while I settle for a less-than life and tell myself to be happy’…
And…
hard, YUK, ‘do whatever it takes, even if you hate every moment of it’, ‘I am alone and abandoned and fiercely independent – No one is let near me, they are always trying to get something and I am definitely not waiting for some divine appearance – It is all on me, baby! I may sing songs at church but this is the REAL WORLD. Let the weak ones wait, me?!…I am in this to win it all by my lonesome”…
Neither of those stances win…
They get somewhere…
And then usually choose to settle…
Both feel frustrated
Though the former may hide it with more spiritual practices
Whereas the latter may go either way – More bitterness or more spiritual practices
There is another place…
Where you realise your role…
- CONNECT to Source
- DECIDE DEFINITELY what you want
- CLEAR anything that tells you that you cannot have it
- ACT on the intuitive nudges
Not passively patient
Not aggressively independent
ULTIMATELY, YOU MAKE YOURSELF AVAILABLE TO RECEIVE what is already yours
YOU HOLD YOURSELF AWAY from it when you put walls up or you refuse to do your part, whether due to flawed conditioning or just plain pigheadedness or just fear and self-doubt or doubt that you are fully supported…
Stop it!
Raise that wealth consciousness
Stop acting and living as though your failure is a done deal
Please remember.
- Your vision is your permission.
- You are capable of your calling.
- You are much more powerful than you realise.
- Yes you can get everything you want.
- You are loved. You are enough. You are worthy. You deserve the very best of everything.
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Much Amazing Love
