You want to be happy

You mostly think that it is frivolous to consider happiness a goal

And so you focus all your attention on these temporary crazinesses like clean dishes, laid beds, perfectly groomed car

You lay down your life for everyone

Get irritated that they do not respond with the gratitude that you think they should

You think it is all their fault

And you keep going.

You have no choice, you tell yourself

If you do not keep everything going then it will all fall apart

You do not realise it but you think everyone is weaker than you

And that it is your job and responsibility to protect them, to save them from themselves…

You ignore the blocked places in you

You have found a form of equilibrium that means you do not dare upset the inner balance because who on earth knows what could come out of there…

But you do not see it that way…

You think you are solid

Responsible

Fine.

Ain’t nothing to see here

All is well with you

It is the rest of the world that is wrong

You will just keep chugging along until they see that you were right all along

And life continues to tick on by

You, the martyr

Everyone else, the weak ones

And then the arguments start

The ones in your household are fed up of your condescending ways

The balance begins to be shaken

They are no longer willing to put up with it

You could lose all you thought you had in the bag

And you begin to see that maybe, it was silly to focus so much attention on trivialities like the cleanliness of the house when the heart of the people in the home was getting broken by your insistent nagging

Maybe happiness is not so frivolous, after all

Maybe it is the most important thing

Because now you have your nice pristine home

But no one is there anymore

They all left as soon as they could and it feels like you have to force them to come back

If you are particularly stubborn, you still tell yourself that it was all their fault, though

That they just did not get it, they were weak and unable to carry their weight

If you are wise, you will look within

Beyond where you have ever dared to go before

And you will heal

And allow yourself to be truly happy

And in so doing, allow others too.

EVOLUTION can help.

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