I was programmed at a very young age to believe what my parents, my church, my teachers and extended family wanted me to believe.
They told me what success should look like…
I ignored my own desires, my own wishes, my own inner picture of the life I wanted…
I designed my life to suit them, except sometimes I just couldn’t.
I felt like a rebel when I did not go along with what they wanted from me.
I felt like I needed to be punished for being so bad and sometimes I did get punished by these beacons of wisdom.
Always I felt out of step.
Always I felt wrong.
I spent so much time trying to feel right, to justify myself
How much time I wasted…
They stole so many years of my life…
But I freaking allowed it.
I allowed them to make my focus THEM AND THEIR PLANS AND DECISIONS FOR ME.
All the while, I ignored me and fought an inner battle I was not even aware of fighting.
If I am totally honest, it felt safer, more secure to just go along with their ideas as then I did not have to fully take responsibility for my choices and also, I didn’t have to really think about what I wanted. I could just spend all my time rebelling against them or submitting to them.
I was passive.
I did not want to truly think.
I felt an ongoing dull ache in my chest but I did not want to really dive deep into that. I was too busy trying to keep my head above water in a life that I did not love but hey I had worked hard to create it so I had to keep it going.
And I did not want to be a navelgazing idiot who did nothing useful in the world.
But… what useful thing was I doing as I avoided myself and tried to be some lesser version of me?
Man… I look back at the crazy life I chose to create and now I see how silly I was.
I was in so much pain but I glossed over it and tried to pretend I was happy or content or I just plain old distracted myself.
I looked like a success but I was dying inside.
I longed for both fulfilment and wealth but got a limited version of wealth with no fulfilment.
And I thought I could not have both.
I am not sure I am sharing this idea clearly but the long and short of it is that if you want to be truly fulfilled, happy, wealthy, successful, you cannot do what I did and ignore your own inner world.
Your pictures of how you want life to be are so precious but you got trained to ignore them and to see them as trivial childish dreams and yet they are there to shape the life you are meant to live.
Now you are living to other people’s definitions of success and it is literally killing you as it daily drains your will to live.
But you think it makes you responsible to ignore how you truly feel and just do what most adults do.
You deeply long to find and fulfil your purpose but you are ignoring your inner world.
Even you the super spiritual one whom prides yourself on how self-aware you are, you are continually fighting the wrong battle. Your programming has kept you focused on the wrong stuff. You are trying to manage the lies you were taught to live to, rather than actually bring to life your true desires. Most of your energy is used to handle the layers shielding the real you rather than just bringing to life the real you.
Because you are scared of you.
SCARED OF YOUR OWN AWESOME SELF!
Scared that you will fail when you try to be you.
Scared that you will not be able to take care of your responsibilities and scared that you will look like an idiot. You have invested so much time in building your ‘successful’ facade and you don’t want it to be taken away.
And that is just plain silly and tiring.
Stop managing the lies
Start being your true self.
Dare to go beneath the noise and nonsense and take back dominion of your own inner world.
Really see yourself.
Let yourself wake up again.
You are there.
You are waiting for you
No mental gymnastics needed.
I can help.
I will be teaching you to take back dominion in the next OPULENCE EXPERIENCE within the Deliberate Millionaire Gathering and there are 2 ways you can come join
2. If you are truly committed to making 6 figures in your own coaching, healing, course-creator business by this time next year, then come join affluence – https://Rosemarynonnyknight.com/accelerator
There is no more time to waste in an unfulfilled & financially restricted life
Much Amazing Love