As I write the title, I am reminded of the children’s silly, sometimes quite nasty, game where person A controls the person B’s hand and makes it slap person B around the face while chanting “Stop slapping yourself”…
It can start as a game but then inevitably it ends up in pain and tears…
Not a great game, at all…
And today, I got to thinking about how we adults do not always need another person to control our hands and make us slap ourselves, we are quite effectively doing it to ourselves.
Holding back from the real desires of our heart while daily pushing ourselves to do things we do not want to do
Continually feeling guilty over past mistakes and feeling unworthy of any joy because we feel we have not repented enough…
Being told by religious nonsense that we are unworthy of any good thing and the Divine HAD TO sacrifice all that was important to Him to SAVE us because we were THAT BAD and now, we have to spend all eternity making it up to Him…
I remember growing up reading about people literally beating themselves up trying to reach some spiritual nirvana where finally they were good enough except…
How do you know when you are good enough?
When does the crazy voice inside your head tell you that you have done enough to be worthy?
What if it never does?
These questions remain the same for you who may be emotionally beating yourself up…
It does not have to be a physical beating, you know…
In some ways, I wonder whether the internal beating most people keep giving themselves is even worse than anything physical…
We try to help those who physically self-harm, we lock them up in mental institutions and try to get them to repent from their ‘crazy’ ways but we do not always see those who internally self-harm…
Maybe because most people are caught up in some form of internal self-harm…
Most people feel unworthy
And so it seems quite normal to go around disallowing good things to happen…
How can you allow good things to happen if you feel inherently bad and unworthy?
What if it is REALLY not true?
Most spiritual people can reel off about love but most people, including the spirit-driven ones do not really deeply believe it…
It is all just talk
I know it was just talk for me for a very long time and even now, I keep going from one level of love to the next as I realise that I was still strolling along in the shallow side of love…
I remember being hugged for the first time at 17 – really truly hugged, not out of convention, tradition or wanting anything in return, just because someone wanted to love me…
Wow!
I remember reading THE SHACK and again, diving deeper into love as I realised there were no hoops to jump through and had never been…
And I keep going deeper and deeper…
Stripping off more and more of the pain of feeling unworthy
And again, today, Papa brought to my attention an area of my life where I was still feeling unworthy and punishing myself by disallowing good things to come to me…
Again, I had to fall back into love
Repeat to myself over and over about completely accepting, loving and trusting myself
And also forgiving and accepting some person who I felt had done me wrong because I deserved it!
This deep quest goes on and on
But are you aware of it, my love?
Or have you just accepted that you cannot do certain things, have certain things and found a crazy version of peace in the low-level, continual sadness?
I do not want to stir the pot for you, if you are content with that
But if you are not, can I please tell you that there is more?
That you can dive deeper into love and allow yourself to receive more good things in your physical reality too?
Can I tell you that you are completely, deeply loved in a way that goes well beyond human understanding of love?
Can I tell you that those deep wonderings where you wonder if love can actually be that good, ARE TRUE?
Love IS THAT GOOD and much, much BETTER
Grace is THAT GOOD AND MUCH, MUCH BETTER!
And it is okay for you to discard the hoops and the rules because you really can trust yourself.
Oh honey, I catch glimpses of this love that we are party too and I want to yell it from the rooftops and I want to wallow in it completely but like you, I forget at times and return to feeling unworthy but thankfully, I am getting better and better and allowing, allowing, allowing myself to be loved…
Come with me on this journey to love
I call it the Deliberate Life
It is available to all…
And it begins in connection to Source
I could go on and on but for now, I created something free for you…
Please remember.
- Your vision is your permission.
- You are capable of your calling.
- You are much more powerful than you realise.
- Yes you can get everything you want.
- You are loved. You are enough. You are worthy. You deserve the very best of everything.
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Much Amazing Love
