People say things that hurt
People do things that hurt
Mostly, they do not realise what they are doing. They are simply living their life.
Sometimes, they do and do not care.
And sometimes, these people are people you care deeply about who suddenly do things that seem out of character.
And yet, they did it.
The normal response is to allow what they said or did to spark some kind of reaction in you.
And if you allow the hurt to fester, you start acting in ways that are not characteristic of you and you feel like ‘they’ MADE YOU do it.
You become someone other than you in order to try and bring them back into the fold.
You give your power away.
However, you do not tend to think about it in this way. You feel justified in feeling and acting differently because of something ‘they’ said or did. You do not even feel like you have a choice.
Sometimes, you get into conversations with this other person, trying to get them to see your point of view and sometimes, that can work if they are blatantly wrong (and already believe they are) or if they are desperate for your friendship (and are willing to do anything to keep it)
Mostly, it does not work for long.
The chances are, they are just living their life and were not trying to hurt you.
However, you had certain expectations of them and those expectations were not clearly defined or the other person just no longer cares to live to those expectations.
And yes, you can continue to react to them with anger, animosity or some other form of emotional manipulation to try and get them back on the path you expect them to be on.
Or you can realise that this is YOUR issue, not theirs.
And that you are giving your power away when you allow yourself to become something, someone you are not in order to force them back on track.
Let them go.
That does not mean you have to cast them out of your life though sometimes, it does mean that.
Sometimes, it is simply an opportunity for you to check in and see where your security lies.
Is it in other people being exactly who you think they should be and in loving you exactly the way you think they should love you?
Or can you love yourself and them enough to let them off the hook of your expectations?
Can you find your security in the Divine?
Can you find the love you think they should be giving you, in the Divine?
Can you stop allowing yourself to be swayed by their actions?
Can you choose to handle the deep pain you feel inside because this relationship is not playing out the way you dreamt it would?
Can you mourn the loss of that dream that was so dependent on them living up to your unspoken or spoken expectations?
And in mourning/grieving the loss, choose instead to decide who you be and allow them to be whoever they are.
They are not responsible for your happiness, my love.
They are allowed to be whoever they want to be, even if it does not meet your expectations.
If you can rise above the noise and pain in your heart, you might even see them for who they are, not for who you think they should be.
And you might like this person or maybe, you won’t
Either is okay.
However, you do not have to keep letting them control how you show up in the world or how you feel inside.
Look within yourself
Resolve your own internal tensions
Ask for Divine clarity
Allow UNCONDITIONAL love to flow through you
Set ‘them’ free to be whoever they are
And you set yourself free to be at peace, whatever they do.
I know it is easier said than done when you are coming from a place of entangled, co-dependent relationships with lots of unspoken rules where everyone affects everyone else and everyone is supposed to please everyone else.
It might even feel like the way you have always done relationships is the ONLY way to do them
When you start to do what i suggest here, even some of the people in your world will think you just don’t care about anyone anymore, even though it is because you care about them that you realise that you can no longer allow yourself to keep trying to manipulate them emotionally.
I wonder if I am explaining this well enough.
I definitely come from a world where relationships are supposed to be all entangled and everyone affects everyone else and over the last 10 years or more, I have had to gradually see the bondage that it was and detangle myself and release other people from my expectations. They have not always liked it.
And I am certainly not perfect at it and so, there is always a deeper level where you realise you are still all entangled and co-dependent
And again, I feel the Divine inviting me to greater freedom where my love is not dependent on what someone does or does not do
And where my love does not mean I demean myself or twist myself around trying to prove how much I love them
ALWAYS, the core of prosperity in any area of life, as taught in the DELIBERATE MILLIONAIRE PATH TO PEACE & PLENTY, is
1 FALL IN LOVE WITH THE DIVINE
2 FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF
And when someone else is allowed to take the place of any of the 2 above principles, it becomes unhealthy and painful. Your energy is drained and it becomes hard to live the life you dream of because they have all your power and you are focusing all your energy on them and trying to get them to conform to your expectations.
That never ends well.
Come back home to you, my love.
Allow others to be who they are, even if they are your children.
Set clear boundaries
Make clear requests
Have appropriate consequences
Detach from the noise and nonsense by staying intimately attached to the Divine and to yourself.
Get assistance if you are unable to see clearly yourself.
Choose to do whatever it takes to free yourself.
In the process, you set others free too.
And if you are interested in finding out how the DM path to peace & plenty can help you live a free, fulfilled, financially abundant, love-drenched life, get a copy of my book – The Deliberate Millionaire’s CONFIDENCE Book at https://mibusiness.lpages.co/coreconfidence
Much Amazing Love