Yesterday, I was married for 12 years. The day before that, I was right in the place where Tloml and I had made those vows. I still remember the start of this journey with this guy that I love sooo much. It was certainly an example of me standing strong in the face of opposition.
The journey to this wedding was quite colorful, with lots of ups and downs. He was working through some deep life issues, I liked him anyway, he chose to put us on hold while he got himself sorted. We finally started going out then We broke up, we got back together, our church tried to keep us apart as they were uncertain how serious I was, we won them round then my family started threatening and wailing about it, I broke up with him as the pressure built and I felt sooo confused about what to do.
I had an epiphany while praying one day at church so we got back together and finally we got married in June 2001. I only had my siblings and foster mother at the wedding as it felt like no one in the family wanted to come. Thankfully, I had a mighty big church family so they more than made up for it. It still remains in my mind as the very best day of my life and we are still going strong.
The thing about opposition is that it usually comes from inside your head or it comes from people you love or people whose opinion you care about.
This, of course, makes it tough to ignore.
And yet, YOU MUST!
Great intentions can be the very thing that keeps you away from your destiny. ‘Love’ may seek to protect you from any hardships and yet those hardships may be the very thing you need to become the person you were made to be.
Who ever heard of a diamond being made without some pressure, some heat? It is the same with life, nothing good comes easy. It comes simply; there are simple steps to take but that does not make them easy.
Just because it has not been done before does not mean that you cannot do it.
Standing strong in the face of opposition is tough but absolutely essential. It is only as you pass through your own personal brand of opposition that you truly find some of the nonsense melting away, if you will only stand firm.
1. Do not stop listening to the words of those who love you, unless they try to force their will on you.
2. Weigh up your options as objectively as possible. Get a trusted OBJECTIVE person to talk things through with. You might need a coach if you cannot find anyone less hysterical.
3. Step back from the situation, give yourself time to make a decision.
4. Act decisively and quickly. Do not let your decision-making time turn into procrastination.
5. Be ready to take FULL responsibility for the consequences.
Standing strong when fiercely opposed is hard but the strength you obtain as a result is something no one should miss.
Tell me how it goes…
I think its nothing short of a miracle. A marriage made in heaven if u pls. Considering d fact that u were soooooooooooooo young!!!!!!!
Many marriages btw full grown adults break up due to Family Pressure.
Perhaps somthing to b thankful for is d fact that u were getting a lot of pressure from afar off. If u had been back here in Nigeria, with your folks close-by, I assure u it would hav been xtremely tough.
It is very obvious that u fell head over heels in love with Simon
ab Initio. Permit me to add (though I wasn’t there) before he even noticed u.This deep love wast lust so it kept u going all d way. This love superceeded every form of immaturity u might hav odawise xperienced. I bet all u could think of @ d time was – I can’t live wtout Simon. I must do everything to support him NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES. And that’s xactly wot u did. U fought for your love.
That’s what TRUE love is all about – ITS UNCONDITIONAL
It keeps no record of wrongs, doesn’t envy, isn’t selfish or selfseekin This is what Marriage should b based on. NOT Physical attributes, current financial status, bethrotal bfore u were even born, Party/club membership of parents, to take up a position as a member of d Board of Directors of some company (Business Reasons) NO!!!!!!!!
Marriage should b based on Pure love ALONE. A sense of total attachment and Commitment to a Union.
God placed a deep love for u in d heart of your tloml (the.love of my life). That way, he was able to reciprocate your love and the rest is history. Looky! Looky! Look how u turned out girly! A beauty to behold.
Thanx for sharing your story to encourage others.
BBig thumbs up!!! To Simon for allowing u to do so.
Remain Blessed dear Friend.
I certainly cannot say our love is perfect in every way but I definitely had to fight for it and every day we choose to love each other. 22 was not that young!! Lots of people marry at that age and younger!
You forget my mum was right here with me and you would be surprised by the number of people that came out of the woodwork on the phone, in person etc. All with one message of ‘DO NOT DO IT!!!’ It was tough!
Anyway, Thanks for your kind words.
Stay in Touch!