For as long as I can remember, I have been that weird one who loved God and also quite loved the sensations that feeling sexy gave me.

However, I also felt that they did not combine all that well…

I somehow got it into my head that sex was dirty and Spirit good, clean and never ever must the two meet so imagine all the guilt and shame that was going on in my little head as I tried to work out these crazy ideas…

And who can you talk to about this kind of thing?

Your preacher person is trying to cast out the demons from you…

And I am not even sure who your local sexual guide is supposed to be…

And then add to all that a feeling that you cannot communicate with your own higher power because you have never been taught how…

People have just told you to believe what they want you to believe and you have gone along with it because you did not know there was any other way to live life…

And yes, you have your holy book but even it seems to both vilify your sexual tendencies as well as exalt them.

Confusing, right?!

And this caused me to hold back…

To be less…

To be the follower because surely, the leader cannot be this confused…

The leader cannot be this conflicted inside…

Surely, the leader must be flawless and full of confidence and have nothing to hide…

And so, I hid…

I obeyed the rules or at least, I tried to!

And I put a cap on the impact I allowed myself to have because hey, someone might just find out my dirty little secret…

So, I better keep my head down, do work I did not want to do because the big ideas in my head only got granted to the pure and I certainly was not ‘pure’!

And so my life played out for years…

With me holding myself back…

Performing my wifely duty by lying there passively…

Every so often, like a crazy addiction, I would find myself seeking out erotic material and pornography on the down low…

I would confess to my fairly bemused hubby ( who really had no issues with me but that is not the point, I FELT wrong, guilty) and sometimes, I would confess to the pastor of choice at the time (who would go through the motions of praying with me to be clean and to overcome and to cast out the demons!)

And so the dampening continued…

The putting a cap on my power…

The trying to blend in and be a good christian lady…

And finally, FINALLY, I found the courage to ask of God some real hard questions…

As I stepped into entrepreneurship and it demanded that I be a lot more powerful than I was allowing myself to be, I had to ask these questions because I was holding back and putting limits on what I was allowed to have…

As I became a parent and realised that I did not want to pass on my own crazies to my princesses who are female like me…

As I started to feel more and more that I was holding back…

I was not playing full-out in this ONE life that I had…

And so I asked the hard questions…

The questions I had tried to avoid…

Thinking that I already knew all the answers…

And that the answers were that I was bad, evil, shameful and definitely not allowed to impact millions and make millions…

No, not me, surely!

I was bad, wrong, evil, unloved!

However, when I really asked and received back answers, the responses I got back freed me…

Freed me to fully own my power…

And for a season, I kept those answers to myself…

I kept my new-found freedom to myself…

I was still unsure, still uncertain that it was something that needed to be shared…

It was my story and my story alone so I would present just the plain tips, tricks, techniques of building business to the world while tapping into all these extra accelerating factors for myself…

Finally, I realised and was called out by my higher power about the fact that I was still hiding…

My story was part of my impact…

Leader, your story can be your reason to stay hidden or your reason to shine…

For a long time, my story had caused me to be ashamed of myself – How could I claim to be spiritual and also be soooo sexual?

Now I know, it is natural.

Now I know that it is as I fully own my sexual nature that I will be able to do the work I feel called to do…

It is as I openly share some of these elements of my story that I can cause others to break free of their guilt as well…

Leader, your sexuality is a gift!

Nothing to be ashamed of…

Nothing to hide away…

Nothing to pretend does not exist…

Yes, you may have quirky, extreme tendencies – Some of which have resulted because you thought you had to hide who you were away from people…

Some because… well, you are just quirky – So what?

As long as no one gets hurt, do whatever you will!

WITHOUT GUILT!

But even beyond just the loveliness of reaching orgasm, there is something else even more powerful that you may have stifled as you tried to be what others thought you have to be…

Or even what you thought your higher power demanded of you…

There is the inherent power of your sexuality…

That power can cause you to show up more powerfully as leader…

That power can cause you to do things even more boldly than you ever would have dreamed of…

As you learn to fully own your sexual energy, you will find yourself accomplishing more feats than you ever thought you could…

It is creative force…

It is courage in a bottle..

It is confidence on tap…

And it is all yours…

Like the nose on your face that you use to smell…

The eyes you use to see…

The ears you use to hear…

Your loins are a part of you and once you learn to harness the energy they contain…

More love, more wealth, more abundance, more impact becomes available to you!

And a whole lot easier than ever before…

Much Amazing Love

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