Fear can be such a potent thing!

I have spent the whole morning, sitting in bed getting myself prepared to do something I have never done before.  The whole time, my heart has been pumping in my chest, my palms are a bit sweaty and I just cannot wait for it to be over.  What am I doing, you might ask?  I am only going to show off one of my properties to prospective tenants! Nothing really to be afraid of there!

And yet…

How can I deal with this fear?  There are two ways I can deal with it really.  I could

  1. Run screaming into the night and refuse to show myself ever again (Ok, a bit of an exaggeration!).  I can just give in to the fear and give it all up as a bad job – I sometimes wish I could just do that!
  2. I can just deal with it and do what I have to do, knowing that in the doing of the difficult thing, the fear will have no choice but to dissipate.

So what do you think I will do?

If I take up the first option, the fear just increases.  And my life gets smaller and smaller as I seek to live more and more within my comfort zone.  Security becomes the goal above anything else and I spend the rest of my life trapped in a small, “secure” place with a tiny window.  Every so often, I look out of that window and pat myself on the back as I see other people out there seemingly struggling uphill.  I could tell myself I was safe and secure but I would also envy these very same people who were doing things I can only dare to dream of.

What of the second option? What could I gain if I do the thing that frightens me? It results in me learning a new skill. I stretch myself and my small, ‘secure’ place widens, if just a little.  I probably also discover that the real event is nowhere near as scary as the imagined one.  The fear begins to disappear, little by little.  Each time, I perform this particular duty, I am that little bit less scared until the day comes when this becomes a part of my normal life.

Hopefully you guessed that I did actually go for it and unsurprisingly, it went well.  Nowhere near as scary as I had made it in my mind!

Some of the other things I have done today to manage my fear include:-

  • Spending a little time going over the scenario repeatedly in my head, trying to picture how it could go, the conversations I may have.
  • In doing the above, I am able to prepare myself more completely as I picture every possible scenario and prepare myself for it, in terms of printing out forms, answers to possible questions and deciding what parts of the house to talk about.
  • I have spoken to a mentor who has done this numerous times before.  This has resulted in him, pointing out any issues in my plans, helping me prepare further.
  • I have had to tell myself quite a few times that this is not my one and only chance to get it right.  If I make a mistake this time, I can actually do it again so really, this is just a learning experience for me.

How do you take control of any fears that you have to deal with? Any tips?

Please take the time to fill in your name and email address in the box to your right.  I would love to stay in touch with you!

Until next time!

Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.
Dale Carnegie


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