There comes a day in everyone’s life when they realise that learning to love yourself is pretty important. It is usually after years of living to the agenda of the masses and realising that there is no reward to be found there and then, suddenly people remember that their own opinion is important.
I have seen far too many people walking through life living to an antiquated idea of self-love being the last thing you are allowed to do after loving a distant god and then bending to the will of the masses and then finally, if you have anything left, you can love yourself.
That is what many believe and live to and so, is it any wonder that lots of people live a small life as they try to satisfy the whims of the many, instead of looking within for their own truth.
A life of impact and changing lives can only be built on a foundation of ‘Love Yourself’ first. Because it is only as you love yourself that you can choose to love others as you love yourself. How can you love anyone when you have not learnt to love you?
How can you build a successful life and business, if you do not value your own thoughts, ideas and desires?
How can you change other people’s lives when you have not taken a healthy look at your own life?
It is time for you to repent and to stop despising what God has called good.
And here are a few ideas for you to consider …
1. Start to remind yourself of why you love yourself
Yes, I know that it goes against the grain for you to big yourself up but do it, anyway. Strengthen yourself by reminding yourself about what makes you good and worthwhile and worthy of a life you love. You can no longer look outside of yourself for approval – Give yourself approval for the person you are today. You have gone through a lot and you are still standing. There is still a lot you want to do and the only reason why you will do it is because who you are today, is good enough to make anything you set your mind on, happen – So, go on, remind yourself of why you love yourself.
You need that confidence boost to step into the day and do what must be done.
The other side of this is that you will always judge others by the same standard that you judge yourself. If you feel you come up unworthy, you will notice all the unworthy people around you and wonder why you cannot find people to trust. It is because you are getting an external mirror of what you already see internally. Start by loving yourself and then as you love yourself, love others too.
You may think it is selfish to love you first but it is only as you do it, that you are able to extend love to others, rather than judgement.
2. Love Your Body
What does a love of your body look like? The food you eat, the amount of exercise, the care you take in dressing yourself – All of this can show that you love yourself or the opposite. To be honest, I struggle a lot with the exercise and the meal part of this. I managed to get over the way I dress bit over recent years. I still remember being considerably more overweight than I am currently and choosing to hide myself in frumpy clothes because I hated what I saw in the mirror.
Finally, I noticed what I was doing and started to care for the way I looked which, in turn, helped me get my eating under control as well as the fact that I was just far too busy to eat while starting my business. And all the running around ensured I got a lot of exercise. However, I now do a more sedentary business as I can run it all completely from home on my computer, in my pajamas if I so choose but I recognise that I am not loving the body I have been given by treating it badly and so, I am in the process of finding a coach to work with, who will help me get my diet and exercise under control. I do this because I KNOW I must love my body if I want it to last long and so must you.
How do you currently treat your body?
3. Love the work you do
This is another area where people settle for any work they can find. And yet, this is where we all spend most of our time – doing our work. Is it any wonder that you struggle to love yourself if you spend hours of your day trapped in work that you do not love? You are permanently telling yourself that you are not worth the effort of finding work you do enjoy or worse, you are not good enough to do work you enjoy!
Of course, it leaves dents in your self-esteem. No, it is not easy to create a life where you only engage in things that take your fancy but you have to give yourself a chance, surely?
There is always a way, if you will dare to look for it and do the work to make your life be something you wake up with joy to. You really are worth the effort of trying, don’t you think? As well as the people you will impact as you start to live your true life, rather than one that has been forced on you by circumstance. Please remember, there really is always a way. It may not look like you expect but it will be good and exactly right for you.
Think about it now – What would work you love look like? Share it in the comments if you like. I can give you a few pointers on how to make it happen.
4. Design Relationships That Uplift
Loving yourself will mean opening your heart up to receive love from others and though you are not dependent on it, you can be empowered by it. No man/woman was created an island – We are all part of one universe, one body and so we do well in conjunction with OUR people. The thing is, everyone is not YOUR people and sometimes, even your family are not your people. And it may seem scary at first to acknowledge when long-held relationships are no longer empowering and uplifting you. A sense of loyalty may seek to keep you in place.
Love yourself enough to determine who you will spend more of your time with. Love yourself enough to stay away from or at least limit your exposure to dis-empowering relationships.
5. Let Go Of The Past
The past has happened. Nothing you do right now will change that. Embrace what is and let go of what was. Your past has helped form who you are but you are still the one in control. YOU are still the one that gets to determine if negative memories will continue to bring you down, if what he did or she did, will continue to define the course of your future.
Or you can love yourself enough to forgive what needs to be forgiven and embrace what will lift you up. I don’t care how deluded it makes you feel to only hold on to the positive parts of your history – Do it anyway. Design a more empowering story to live from. And forgive yourself, forgive others, and move forward. You are no victim of your past.
6. Stop Seeking The Approval Of Others
The desire to be a part of a tribe is so strong within you and so you may find yourself seeking the approval of people who do not have your best interests at heart. And the truth is, most people, even those who love you, do not have your best interests at heart, they want to do what is best for the ‘tribe’. And I know you have been trained to believe that that is the selfless, good and moral way to live but it is not the truth. It is just a truth that some prefer to live by and it means they never have to do anything too scary, like stand against the tide of popular opinion.
You are a leader, however and you probably struggle to fall in line. And that is okay! Be courageous and find your own path, despite popular opinion. It may seem lonely for a season but then you will find the right people for you if you will choose to be unapologetically who you really are.
7. Design Your Own Life, Rather Than Comparing Yourself With Others
Stop looking at the soundbites of other people’s lives and thinking that that is the full story. IN fact, just stop looking and create a life that you adore.
It does not have to look like anyone’s so why bother lurking on social media and trying to glean what this or that person you admire is up to. Instead, get deliberate and create your own life. A life that you love, a life that others can look at, if they want. Love yourself enough to design your own life. Be a producer, rather than a consumer.
8. Do More Things That You Love & Eliminate Things You Dislike
All things are possible – You just have to decide what you want and take the steps to eliminate other alternatives and include the option you want. It does not all have to change at once, if that is what scares you. Instead, make a list of things you no longer want and things you would like to have, be, do in this one life of yours.
Then deliberately start to eliminate the ‘don’t want’s and add in the ‘I do want’s. You have to get deliberate about this as you learn to love yourself. Yes, some people may tell you that you are being selfish trying to only do things you want to do but you have to stand your ground and design your own life.
9. Learn How To Make Mistakes
I know it seems counter-intuitive. We have been trained to avoid mistakes like the plague and to beat ourselves up when we make them. Instead, embrace the fact that in order for you to grow, it is inevitable that you will make a mistake or twenty. Do not allow your mistakes to define your life in a derogatory way but see that your mistakes are an indicator of your growth. Only stagnant people (norms) make no mistakes at all.
- Your vision is your permission.
- You are capable of your calling.
- You are much more powerful than you realise.
- Yes you can get everything you want.
- You are loved. You are enough. You are worthy. You deserve the very best of everything.
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Much Amazing Love