“The Divine Himself Will Fight For You. Just Stay Calm”
From The Bible
Oh man, I have experienced the depths of debt – the fear, the worry, the anxiety, the feeling that you are an idiot for getting into the mess, the hopelessness as you wonder if you will ever dig yourself out, the thought that someone is going to come take you away to prison or something, the tightness, the feeling that you cannot do anything you want to do, the lying in bed early in the morning worried out your mind, the calculations you try to do to make money go further, the extra jobs you try to take on to make more money, the refusal to share with anyone just how terrible you feel because you feel like such an ass for doing this to yourself and you feel you have to handle it all yourself so the isolation and the facade you keep wearing where you still keep saying yes to people you should be saying no to but you just cannot seem to help yourself!
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And add on pregnancy to all that – the beating yourself up for bringing a child into this mess, the wanting to spend time with your baby but the certainty that you will have to give her/him up to daycare within days of birth so you can go back to paying everyone something, the tears, the shame, the pain,
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Yes, I know all of that.
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And no, I was not calm.
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The only way out for me at that point, felt like bankruptcy and so I did it but I suffered the consequences of that – a deep, deep darkness inside of me for 4 long years. I despised myself and hid from myself.
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The smile remained on my face.
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No one would EVER have known it.
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But I was not really there.
However, in the midst of that darkness, I also realised that Papa absolutely adored me.
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In the midst of that darkness, I realised the worst had happened and I was still standing – BARELY but still there.
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In the midst of all that, I realised that actually, Papa was my constant and with Him, all would be well.
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It did not mean that there would never be challenge – I am someone who ever wants to push the boundaries and so, there will always be some mountain to climb but I do not need to live in fear.
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OK, please do not assume that that means I am never afraid – I AM but I know now, deep beyond the fear that everything is working out for me.
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I can still be decidedly UNcalm.
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I can still be temporarily shaken to my core.
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But I rise.
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I always rise.
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The Divine and I are a majority.
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I don’t NEED religion.
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I don’t NEED family, friends, or anyone.
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I can choose these things & people but I don’t NEED these things to survive.
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I am safe, I am loved, I am fully supported and totally protected by Papa.
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In the end, after I have had the crazy drama (Which I am surrendering the need to indulge), All is ALWAYS well.
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Everything ALWAYS works out for me.
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Because Papa and I are cool.
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So, my love, I invite you to fall back in love with the Divine (whoever, whatever name you have for Him) and fall back in love with yourself.
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Stay calm and allow yourself to live, to really truly live.
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You are safe, loved, protected and fully supported. All things are working out for your good.
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RELAX.
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Follow the nudges.
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You got this.
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I invite you to come do life with me in the OPULENCE CIRCLE.
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Come learn how to lean into the Divine in a way that feels real to you.
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Come discover how to love yourself.
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I do not promise that it will always feel easy.
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BUt it is easier than what you are doing now.
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So, if you are done with the pain without any end in sight and you would rather consider a different path, come into the OPULENCE CIRCLE.
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Work with me, immerse yourself in new ways of thinking and being.
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Allow yourself to prosper truly.
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RosemaryNonnyKnight.com/opulencecircle.
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I look forward to doing life with you.
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Much Amazing Love
