I have felt deep shame…
Deep dark shame about where I was as a human…
I was supposed to be further along and yet, I felt stalled and I knew it was me, just me sabotaging myself
I have felt anxiety
Wondering if I would ever reach the goals I set for myself
Wondering if I was deluded for thinking I could
I have felt depression
Darker than dark depression as I considered briefly, a life that just stayed the same forever and ever
A life of trying and failing to win at the things I wanted to create
A life of putting on a fake smile when people asked how things were going with sympathy/pity in their eyes as they humoured your ‘dream’ but wondered why you just did not quit.
And through all of those dark times, I just kept taking the next step
THE MENTAL ACTION
I kept pulling my mind back to where I wanted it to be
Sometimes, it was harder to do
Sometimes, it took longer to do…
But I just kept plugging away at it
THE PHYSICAL ACTION
I kept asking for guidance and following the nudge…
Taking the next step
Over and over and over again
Though it felt pointless
Though I wondered whether it was time to quit and go do something simpler
I just kept walking and walking and walking
Sometimes pushing myself into a run
Almost against the voices in my conscious mind screaming at me to stop but in defiance, I RAN and RAN and RAN
Because to stop would be suicide…
Would I have been able to start again?
All the while, I saw the vision – I KEPT MY EYES ON THE VISION!
I still see the vision and it drives me
It compels me
I see my daughters
They drive me
They compel me
Yes, I have reached some heights
But I still see higher
Success can sometimes be a trap
Comfort, we all know, is a trap
And honey, I see you
Knowing you are born for more
Yet, feeling like you must settle for less
I exhort you to come on and STAY ON the narrow path
That vision inside of you is needed by the world
That big picture you have of your life is required by the world
It goes beyond just you and your fulfilment (though that is SOOOO important)
It is also about the people you impact just by being your very best self
You feel scared of the pain of transition
And yet, right now, are you happy?
Yes, I have felt depression, anxiety and shame and many many more deep dark things
But I now also feel pride at who I have become
Power that I can create anything I desire
Deep love that I get to serve more people in the way I always dreamt of
I would not swap my life for anything
I have more growing to do, for sure
And I imagine some of it might be painful until I learn to move through FAST!
And still, I KNOW I am one with the Divine now
I know I am a God Unit now
I KNOW WHO I AM NOW
I can not return to that old sleep state I dwelled in
I call to you to RISE
You want to
You are not alone in this
Come, let us do life together
- Your vision is your permission.
- You are capable of your calling.
- You are much more powerful than you realise.
- Yes you can get everything you want.
- You are loved. You are enough. You are worthy. You deserve the very best of everything.
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Much Amazing Love