I thought struggling and sacrifice at work and in relationships were to be normal parts of life. I thought that a feeling of distance from the Divine was also to be my lot in life.
Could I feel fulfilled? Could I do things I loved to do? and find a way to get paid for it?
Such ideas seemed too unreal for someone like me, particularly as I looked at the current state of my life. From the outside looking in, I was ok – I was the pharmacist, had the cars, had the houses, the cleaner. I should have felt happy, but I did not. There was an emptiness inside of me and a knowing that I deeply desired more freedom.
Freedom from the painful relationships in my life but how could that be possible, I was tied to these people, right?! I had to keep playing these games, doing what I was asked even when I did not want to and could not understand why. I had to be at everyone’s beck and call. I had to keep them happy, help them when they needed me (which seemed to be a lot of the time). It was the ‘good’ thing to do, right?!
Freedom from having to be anywhere, doing things I did not want to do but again, how was that possible, this is what adults do, right?! Earn a limited sum of money to do work that did not really inspire me. It was doable and I was blessed so I should be happy, right?!
I lived the responsible life. Resolved conflicts and worked jobs I did not want to resolve or work.
And even as the Divine tried to show me that there were other ways to think, I would simply think that it was too good to be true, impossible for someone like me and surely, I was simply deceiving myself. So I would buckle down and get back to all the struggling and sacrifice. I felt so tied to a life I did not love but I was CONVINCED there was no other way.
Until bankruptcy, depression shook me awake.
And I had my 3 delicious princesses.
I may not have been able to wake up just for me but I could not teach them that they had no choice in life. I JUST COULD NOT!
So finally, I started to really listen to the Divine and to get around coaches, mentors who saw life differently, so differently from the people I had been around my whole life.
Unconditional love was really a thing. No hoops to jump through, no perfection to attain first.
Freedom, fulfilment, financial abundance while doing what I desired to do, was really a thing. I could feel good all day, everyday. Wow!
THE CHOICE WAS MINE: I could choose to set my mind upon the things I wanted or keep fighting to keep the things I did not want.
No, the transition has not always felt easy – Freedom does seem to come with a price.
An obvious price, I have to say with hindsight: Let go of the life you DO NOT want so there is room for the one you do.
Isn’t it fascinating how we hold onto what we claim not to want, though?!
And for the most part, I did not know that I was doing that. You probably don’t know it either. Like I used to, you probably think you have no choice.
Well, life is different now – The ever-increasing prosperity, without having to do anything I do not want to do.
My inside world is so different now – The peace, the bliss that I keep practising into and experiencing. It really is possible to feel good all the time.
I work with others to expose them to new ideas, new ways of living because when all you are immersed in, are the people and experiences that you have always lived with, it is hard to even imagine that life can feel good all the time. It does begin to feel like a fallacy.
But there is a part of you that KNOWS there could be more.
A part of you KNOWS life could be different, in a great, ever-expanding way.
The question is ‘are you ready to live into that?’
I can help.
Much Amazing Love