I didn’t change, I just found myself…

I didn't change, I just found myselfI saw a quote picture with those words a moment or so ago, and it touched a nerve deep within me.

It reminded me of how I had felt for the longest possible time, the feeling that I was trying so hard to fit into a body that was not mine – OK, so no I am not about to change sex or anything but I have proceeded over the last few years to strip off layer upon layer of fakeness that I had employed.

Fakeness I had taken on to appease the people in my life who I thought I needed to please in order to get their love.

I finally got done with it!

I was never all that good at it, anyway!

No matter how hard I tried, I did not get things right and people seemed to want more and more and more from me and I could not fulfil it.

There was just too much internal conflict…

Between who I really was and who they wanted me to be.

Finally, I got fed up of it!

Finally, I realised that all the love I needed was available without jumping through all the hoops they placed in my path!

Finally, I decided to just be me and that has been a weird journey of hitting rockbottom and being too ashamed to tell anyone when I got there…

A journey of discovering that who I am, is awesome and I do not need to hide it for anyone!

A journey of learning to do what I have always wanted to do, even when it went against the expectations of friends, family and the ‘norms’ all around me.

You know what?

I really did not change!

I just remembered who I was!

I found MYSELF!

And I love the person I am!

Have you ever felt that way?

One Comment

  • bivek says:

    Yes….I do felt it recently….and I feel so good to be myself again….and for this the videos by Joyce Mayer helped me a lot…:)

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