What guilt trip are you going on right now?
Maybe you are feeling like the worst parent in the world because you are trying to build a business as well as be a parent. (This is usually my guilt trip of choice!)
Maybe you are going on a guilt trip about the chocolate you just ate when you are supposedly trying to get those last few pounds off your hips so you can fit into your trousers again. ( Another one I suffer with, usually quickly followed by a ‘BUT… I need it!’)
Maybe, you forgot to call your parent yesterday and now feel guilty about not caring enough about your aged parents or whatever. ( I am getting away from this one – usually my mum though as my dad is no longer with us)
Maybe you have not done all the stuff you want to do to grow your business and you keep getting stuck right inside your business (you know, the comfortable, ‘do it in your sleep’ bits) instead of the slightly nerve-wracking, ‘put myself out there and promote’ bits. You then end each day feeling like a failure of a business person because nothing is changing at all.
or maybe blame is your emotion of choice at the moment…
Again maybe you have not done all the stuff you want to do to grow your business and you keep getting stuck right inside your business but this time, you blame your staff, the economy, the bank loan that you got rejected for, the partner that does not understand why you do the things you do and makes you feel guilty for paying attention to your business.
Or maybe it’s your parents who did not love you the way you needed to be loved (very probably true, unfortunately) and now frankly, it is all their fault that you are unsuccessful and lack self confidence in being able to create any kind of success.
Maybe your kids keep getting in the way of you reaching your goals – Life would be easier if they just left you alone. Or maybe, it is their fault that you are yelling at them for the umpteenth time this morning – After all, if they just did what they were told, you would not be angry with them.
Hey, maybe reading through this, is making you go on guilt trip right here, right now!
Just STOP IT!!!!!
All the ‘I should have’s and the ‘Why don’t they?’s get you nowhere at all.
And you kind of know it, but you do not know how to combat these feelings and sometimes, you even feel completely justified in going on the guilt trip or pouring blame on everyone around you.
Can you see though that this is getting you nowhere?
Are you willing to consider that there is another way to look at it and a more empowering way to deal with this stuff?
Great! Keep Reading…
- First and foremost, I need you to see that guilt and blame are 2 sides of the same coin. You are either blaming yourself (guilt trip) or blaming others so it all comes down to looking for someone to blame in order for you to ‘feel complete’
- Blame helps nothing – Whoever you choose to blame (yourself or anyone else). The truth is, EVERYONE, including you, does the best they can with the information they have at that moment.
- Knowing this, that We all Do the Best WE Can With the Information we have at that time, How can you see things differently? How can you act differently?
Some tips here.
Instead of beating yourself up about stuff, you can spend time gaining more information about a topic or skill that keeps stumbling you into a spiral of guilt. Maybe, just maybe, you do not know how to do it, you do not know how to parent better, you do not know how to promote yourself, you do not know how to be loving and so why not invest in yourself, focus on gaining more knowledge and stop beating yourself up.
Of course, you cannot make anyone do anything so absolutely no point blaming them, the only thing you can do is look at things from their perspective and choose to react differently to them.
If you know your parents did the best they could, can you see that blaming them gets you nowhere – Yes, you may need to distance yourself from them for a while as you work through your own emotions or else you end up hurting each other more and more.
(In a lot of cases, this is necessary for your own wealth and emotional health so do not beat yourself up about this either! I have had to do this recently in my own life and my business actually doubled when I forgave my mum, my emotions are evening out as I do not expose myself to situations that used to rile me up and overall, I feel better inside).
Take the time you need, start to see their perspective and then reintroduce them to your life gradually. It may take some time but as you choose to deal with yourself in a constructive manner, your relationships with others improve.
Remember, you are always in control of what you allow happen to you.
This life we have chosen, a life where we deliberately choose success in all areas, means that we cannot continue to give off negative emotions (guilt trips, blame fall in this category) because it means we attract more of the same and also, we live well below what we are capable of.
Choose today to take a step away from the negativity and to look for the good in every situation. Remember, you can turn it all around today and make a better choice.
Join me in kicking out the guilt trip.
There are so many resources provided on this website for you to gain business skills and also, a positive mindset. Dig in and put things into practice.
And if you want to experience a business and life upgrade, then join us in the Deliberate Millionaire – Find out more here
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