Recently, while reading through (or more appropriately) casting a glance over my tweets in Twitter to see if anything of import or interest had popped up, I came across this quote (I had to type that word a few times! My ‘Q’ seems to be getting stuck!) on my twitter stream. It made me want a fresh start. What do you think?

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending – Maria Robinson.

I loved it!

How Life began

We have all heard the stories, in fact, we are sometimes THE story.  Life began somewhere in the ghetto (if the protagonist is based in the US) or on a council estate (here in the UK).  The mother was a teenager, unable to look after the baby, unable to look after herself but determined not to call her parents for help.  The Dad is nowhere to be found – in truth, there are rumors that he has a few babies with a  selection of women (young girls).

Maybe I have too rampant an imagination!

Or maybe…

You had regular parents struggling to make a living for you and your siblings.  They worked a lot but spent hardly any time getting to know you.  You have spent a lot of time searching for someone who enjoys you and wants to spend time with you.

In my case, I was born to parents who aspired to be better than their roots, so I was placed with a foster mother during the week and went home to my parents (if Dad was in the country) or just Mum.  This was my life until the family returned to Africa where life seemed to be going well until my father’s accident where he became a paraplegic.  Things definitely changed then…

Whatever our beginnings, surely they cannot be allowed to determine where we end up.

We have absolutely no control over who we are born to, the family we are a part of and the environment we grow up in.  So there is limited point in bemoaning it.  These days, the desire to blame our past for everything from how we brush our hair to how we parent our children to all our lifestyle choices is an affliction that we need to shed.

We need to shed this dwelling and living in the past in order to become a success, whatever that means for us.  What do you want out of your life? Is it time for a fresh start?

I have been struggling recently with doubts and have found myself indulging in the navel-picking that I am so good at, given half a chance 😀 but at some point I have to stop or else I can spiral into despair.  I definitely need a fresh start. The same goes for all of us women, unless you are particularly cheery.

I have decided to take three steps and I hope you can join me in them.

Three Steps to letting go of my past and charging into my new ending and fresh start

  1. Forgiveness

    – Now, this has to be the first step.  We can and do blame our parents for a lot of stuff.  Remember, however, that they were the same as you and I, doing the best they could with the limited information they had about dealing with children. It was not that long ago that they were children and suddenly, just like us, they became parents and they were trying to do their best.

    Unless you had a particularly nasty parent, the chances are they loved you then and they love you still but they did not always get it right and not for lack of trying.  So, for our own sakes, we need to find a way to forgive them for being less than perfect.

    If just for your own sake, forgive.

  2. Take responsibility

    – We are mostly adults now, aren’t we?  And part of being an adult is choosing to be responsible for our actions.  We cannot keep saying it was because of this thing my Mom did, or that thing my Dad said.  At some point, we have to choose to get over it and decide no longer to be bound by the past.

    Right now, if you are above 18 years old, then whatever you do, YOU have chosen to do.  Not your Mum, not your Dad, but YOU!  We all can choose to do something different.  We all have brains and we can use them to help us figure out the way we want to act and speak.  We may not always get it right but let us own that wrong so we can learn from it.  If we keep thinking it was their fault (whoever ‘their’ is), we will never be any better.

  3. Turn Around (Repent)

    – We have all heard (or maybe you haven’t) the roadside preacher yelling out “repent! repent!” Most of us walked swiftly away without making eye contact.  Now, I say”repent”!  It is time to turn around in certain aspects of life.  Make plans on how to change a certain behaviour.  For instance, I easily give in to negativity so I have decided to get an audio recording of Anthony Robins and listen to him in the car, get more uplifting music to listen to and really try to saturate my mind in positivity.  It is a small step but it is a start.

    What small step can you make in order to change your ending?

    A friend of mine had to move away from her home in order to escape the enticing, yet negative, influences of her childhood.  This is a big step but it has changed her direction in life forever.  What recurring behaviours occur in your life? What can you do to change the ending and have a fresh start?

I hope you enjoyed the reading of this thought on having a new beginning.  Please share on Pinterest, Facebook, Twitter or any other place.  See you around!

One Comment

  • kanangwa Newlove says:

    Awesome. I have to work on getting my fits of despair into control. Am a perfectionist so as you can imagine, my fits of despair are more common that the hairs on my head.I need to change that and change it fast. Thanks Nonny.

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