Some days, I wake up and the fear is literally eating me up inside.
There is crazy tension in my chest and I want to cover my head over and go back to sleep…
I feel certain that everything is going to explode around me and not in a positive way! I feel like a fraud and I second guess everything.
I am not sure that I should even be telling you this. But hey, you and I are friends, right? I can be honest with you, right?
The fear, the darkness is a friend of mine. I dance with it all the time.
I just refuse to let my fucking feelings about it, determine the course of my life!
I used to allow that to happen all the time. I lived life so passively, SO PASSIVELY! Waiting to feel inspired before doing anything, waiting for the voice from the heaven to confirm and confirm what i already knew was true about me and the life I was called to live. Waiting for life and all its chaos to create space for my dreams instead of deliberately creating space in my life for my dreams.
I cared so much what people thought of me that I stifled myself, my sexuality, the way I dressed, EVERYTHING! I wanted so desperately to be liked and I managed even to convince myself that it was the right thing to do! I made it all sound so spiritual but it was fucking fear!
And now, I just fucking refuse to keep putting my life on hold.
I just fucking refuse to allow my emotions to determine my results…
I REFUSE to live my life to please anyone, especially NOT people who are doing absolutely nothing to live out their dreams!
I refuse to keep obeying silly rules about how I speak, dress, promote myself and my business…
I refuse to give in to the fucking fear!
I refuse to dance for money, either! I used to! OH MY GOODNESS, I used to!
Right now, as I type this, I can hear MOANA screaming “I AM MOANA!!!!” as she completes her song that explains who she now sees that she is, has always been!
And that has been me for a while now, stripping off everything except who I really truly am. It has been shocking to some, enlightening to others but I am on purpose…
I am even more committed to PROJECT 334k – Where I support 334 thousand leaders to do the work they are born to do, to live life deliberately and we change the world together. And I can no longer spend any of my energy second-guessing myself, giving into the crazy fear or living to my more wimpy emotions.
There is work to be done and yes, some days, I may feel petrified but then I get out my journal as I do every freaking morning. I tap into Source and I remember who I am!
I AM ROSEMARY NONNY KNIGHT!
AND I CHOOSE TO LIVE, REALLY LIVE!
Who the heck are you?
And when will you stop letting the fear hold you back and put layers of nonsense on you?
You are born to dominate…
Born to create something amazing…
And yet, day by day by day, you keep on making excuses, giving into fear and living to that fear!
You are hungry, so very hungry for a life of adventure.
Honey, it is time!
Stop letting your emotions rule you.
No, that does not mean ignore them completely but it does mean that you act based on who you choose to be, what you want to accomplish, not based on how you feel!
Acknowledge the feelings, work them out but ultimately, YOU CHOOSE WHO YOU BE AND WHAT YOU DO!
So no more wimping out!
Show up, do the work of serving more people with your skill, experiences, knowledge, products, books, music, art – DO IT!
Get internal clarity along the way as well.
Just stop making your emotions be the all round determinant of your results!
Fear will be present! DANCE WITH IT!
Keep moving forward!
- Your vision is your permission.
- You are capable of your calling.
- You are much more powerful than you realise.
- Yes you can get everything you want.
- You are loved. You are enough. You are worthy. You deserve the very best of everything.
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Much Amazing Love