Domestic Violence in the news again with a celebrity! It is a horrifying story, surely everyone feels that way?
And yet, I know that some people, both men and women, consider this to be their norm. How unfortunate is that?Brian Minkoff- London Pixels
Nigella Lawson and Domestic Violence
I would be lying if I said I had some deep psychological research response to this, I do not. I am a woman and I am a mother of three girls and that is the angle from which I come. I am also a woman with a dream that women everywhere will stand against this nonsense and walk away from it. I have a dream of freedom for all females everywhere in the world.
Yet, I know that each week women all over the world die from the abuse of male and FEMALE family members. And I find that an uncomfortable truth.
When I lived in Africa, I still remember one particular occasion where an Aunt had come to our house to seek refuge from her husband who had beaten her. There was a family meeting about it where the elders came and invited the couple to be a part of the discussion. Ultimately, the man seemed to be gently managed and the wife seemed to get all her faults related as though that was a reason to expect beating. In the end, she was sent back home to her husband and I am uncertain if anything changed.
One thing I realized from that domestic violence incident and others, was that ultimately, the woman would be expected to take it in her stride and go back to her husband. This was the case with all manner of things. If your husband cheated on you, it was a norm and you had to put up with it. After all, you should be ‘grateful‘, you had a husband so you could not expect him to be faithful as well!
I know in many parts of the world, women have to put up with overbearing male relatives who decide everything for them. These females live such a repressed life and they do not even know that there is any choice. And really, who can say they actually have choice? Their only choice seems to be death or obedience and repression.
It is a horrid situation.
Even more horrid than that, however, is when we, women, choose to mutilate our daughters because it is the tradition or culture. How can inflicting pain be sooo accepted. We hated it but think our children have to go through the same rite of passage as we did.
What ever for?
Here in the UK, we women can be our own worst enemies as well. As one faction fights against the other trying to prove that their way of life is best. Feminism cries for freedom and equality for women but then if some women choose to live in a different way from the norm then they are demoralised and diminished. Stay at home mums against working women/mothers, breastfeeding mothers against bottle feeding mothers etc etc. So much division even within the female population.
OK, so it is not domestic violence and yet…
The whole Nigella Lawson thing just brought some of these issues even more into the light. Suddenly, a vision of domestic goddess – ness is destroyed as domestic violence rears its ugly head. No one escapes being oppressed, no matter how prominent they are.
Ladies, It is time for us to start to stand for ourselves and then to stand for each other. No one can do anything to us that we do not allow. And if they do it once, we need to run from the situation.
Easier said than done! I know!
What are your thoughts on all of this? I would love to know. Some of you may not even know who Nigella Lawson is… Please leave a comment below and I will be sure to respond.