There are two ways to live your life :-
1. You can live as a people pleaser
2. You can live as a powerful person
How do you tell the difference? especially if everyone is validating you and making you feel like you are the bee’s knees?
A little while ago, I wrote a post about people pleasing vs people serving. In that post, I explained how you can become more self assured in your own mind and create the life you want rather than live to everyone else’s expectations of you. Read that to find out more.
However, there is more and I always seek ways to become clearer on how to serve people in the best way possible.
More recently, whilst waiting in the Schipol Airport in Amsterdam, I picked up a book by Paulo Coelho called ‘[amazon_link id=”0007520611″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Manuscript found in Accra[/amazon_link]’ and one of the chapters has become one of the best ways to explain the difference between serving and pleasing people.
I want to share that with you.
The chapter starts with this little poem
I fell asleep and dreamed that life was only Happiness
I woke and discovered that life was Duty
I did my Duty and discovered that life was Happiness.
What does that mean to you?
Every action we take can be played out in two ways – as a service to others and as stated in that poem, we find happiness walking that path or we can do it just to make people happy with us, just as a people pleaser. And that takes away the authority, the power, the truth of the action.
And in addition to all of that, it makes us feel like a lesser person. All we do is live to expectations, rather than choose to live to our highest ideals and as a powerful person which MAY have the effect of pleasing people but that is not the goal.
A lot of you reading this will run businesses or are building careers or even looking after children, and each day, you get to take actions that impact other people. Your impact on them could be really powerful when you actively choose to go beyond acting just for the impact. Take action because it is the right thing to do. Take action because you love to create something wonderful for others. Take action because it is your calling.
Two people could make a cup of tea at work for a colleague. One might do it in order to curry favour from this colleague and the other may do it because they wanted to help parch the thirst of the colleague. Which is the best action? Same action but the effect on the person taking the action is empowering or demeaning dependent on the motivation.
Some people consider that the time spent with their kids is somehow less important than the time spent with a millionaire or another adult colleague. Is that true? In theory, most of us would say “of course not!” but do our actions always show the truth of our words?
I suffer from this so I cannot say I am perfect.
However, let us step into every action as though what we do is important to the wellbeing of us and the planet. There are no better jobs, no better occupations, there is just us living to the best of our abilities. No longer act as a people pleaser but put everything you are into everything that you choose to do.
Let’s be powerful persons.