Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain – and most fools do.
Dale Carnegie

What are you like for complaining?  It is surprisingly easy to do, isn’t it?

The thing is, I find it so easy to hear the whine in my children’s voices or the voices of others around me.  When it comes to my own voice, I am not quite so quick to recognize the inner whiner.  Oh yes, I hear you say – Remove the log from my own eye and all that.  Unfortunately, it is so much easier to remove twigs from other people’s eyes than it is to deal with our own issues.

From time to time, I decide I will try to do a whole week without complaining and then I start to complain about the fact that I am complaining, isn’t that a bit silly!!!!

Anyway, I am going to try again. Well, I will reduce my time limit to just the next 24hours.  Care to join me?

Complaining is such a soul destroying habit and it takes a whole lot of work in order to combat it.  However, the journey of a thousand miles begins with one little step.  The other thing about whining is it is a completely useless form of entertainment.  No one, anywhere has ever accomplished anything just by moaning about it.  It is such a waste if energy, I am aware of this and yet I still fail dismally to keep the habit under check.

Thankfully, this journey of deliberate living is causing me to pay more attention to the habits I no longer want in my life.  I am determined to change them, I am determined to become a person whose words are a source of encouragement to anyone I meet.  What of you?  Any tips on how to do this?

Nonny’s Tips

1. One way I know that helps is being grateful – I have spoken about this in the past before but it is one of the most important habits to cultivate.  Trying always to find a way to be grateful instead of complaining or condemning is definitely a better way to spend ones’ time.
2. Another thing to do is to be very deliberate about always speaking positively rather than negatively in a situation.  This can be difficult if all those around you tend to be on the negative side, they will probably think you a bit annoying to start with, but hey… maybe you will help them feel better too.
   The truth is, you will probably find that your most difficult critic will be yourself as your inner voice may keep trying to tell you to stop being fake and just admit to the fact that something about this situation is annoying you.  Do not give in.  You, and you alone, are responsible for the way you feel in any situation and you alone are responsible for the way you speak about it.
   My babies sometimes come to me and say one of their sisters made them cry.  My response to this is usually that no one can make you cry unless you allow them.  This probably is not the answer they want but I do follow it with a hug J.  It is the truth though.  No one can make us feel a certain way, nothing can make us feel annoyed unless we let it.
3. Try never to say anything if you are feeling annoyed.  It is probably a bad idea.  You are better off not saying anything  at all than giving into the urge to moan about a situation, especially if you are upset.
4. My final thought is to remember that you are not a negative person.  Do not own complaining or criticizing as something you cannot help but do.  It is just a habit you have picked up on your journey until now.  You can equally change that habit to a more helpful and fulfilling equivalent by deliberately choosing to speak only good things.

How do you combat a tendency to complain?

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