Honey, to get the life you soooo desire, one of abundance, purpose, freedom and prosperity in all areas, you will need to know you, to be comfortable with you, to LOVE you…
So, tell me, are you comfortable with your needs and desires and YOU as a whole?
I have not always been comfortable with myself…
I have tried repeatedly to be what I thought I had to be…
To ignore the deepest longings of my heart…
To live on the surface, pretending that the deeper feelings of loss, hurt, pain, even love did not exist…
I wanted to be in control… ALWAYS
And my emotions seemed big and scary and uncontrollable…
And so I tucked them away and tried to be full of logic and practicality…
Even my sexuality had to be controlled…
The force of an orgasm, when I allowed myself to have one, brought quickly back under control because I was scared to let go…
I am that girl who has never EVER been drunk (not necessarily a bad thing) because I did not EVER want to lose control…
Scared of what I might reveal if I really allowed myself to be free…
Scared to be seen and found wanting…
And so I held myself together…
Still do, at times…
And yet, I see now that my best work, the truest work I can do is when I allow myself to really show up…
With my heart on my sleeve…
As I show my connection with Source and allow Him to speak through me and that can never happen while I try to keep a tight handle on who I am…
While I worry so much about how I come across…
Are you comfortable with yourself?
Did you feel the force of your emotions and decide to shut them down because it all felt too scary?
You fought a fight to get control and now, you worry so much that you might lose it all in one unguarded moment and yet…
YET, life is not working in the way you want it to…
And you cannot figure out why
After all, you have followed the rules…
Acted the part…
Disciplined yourself into a machine of action…
But it feels cold…
And no one responds to you though you long to serve them, to love them…
But you are torn between desiring to love your people and desiring to keep yourself safe from your people…
People do hurt people – No doubt about that…
But you want more than this stifled, scared place…
Because you are afraid, honey…
Afraid to lose control…
Afraid that you will not be strong enough to pull it all back together…
Scared that you will do the wrong thing and then be assailed by guilt forever…
Scared that you will go to hell if you give into the strong emotions that you keep under wraps…
And no, it has not been helped by religious training that makes you feel you are somehow wrong…
And unworthy…
Or familial traditions that told you to always keep the real you, under wraps…
You took on this sense that there was something wrong with you…
When actually, you are a glorious work of creation by a master creator…
Who looked at you and thought “Wow! this is GOOD!”
But somehow you have learnt this is BAD!
And though you make it well enough in the world, it feels wrong…
This is not your life…
This is the life of all those who told you how to be and now, you try to fit into a life that feels average…
Your relationships chosen carefully to ensure that you never have to lose control…
Your sexual partners chosen so you can control them…
Maybe, you have even died to this part of your life because it is messy and complicated…
Your work chosen because it is safe…
Not fulfilling but safe…
Even your religious organisation chosen or left because of fear of too many revelations…
Wanting to be seen but also VERY scared of what might be seen…
Are you done with all the hiding from yourself?
Just because you hide from it, does not mean it is not there!
And while you spend all that energy protecting yourself from it, you stay average…
And no, I don’t compare you to anyone else, you KNOW what you could be capable of, if all of you was switched ON!
But most of you is switched off as you try to only show the parts of you that make you comfortable…
And I know it is because of the pain you have experienced…
I know you have a right to want to control everything and keep you contained…
You did let go before and pain ensued…
You learnt to be contained for good reason! I know…
And yet, you want to be free, don’t you?
You want to experience all of life, don’t you?
You want more than this limited existence, don’t you?
Well, it is time to get comfortable with all of you…
Not all at once but be open to seeing what is brought to your attention…
And act on that, trusting that you are taken care of and that it will not all fall apart because you are no longer in control…
Surrender so that you can receive more of the abundance you crave…
Abundance in relationships
Abundance in your money
Abundance in creativity and ideas
Abundance in your work – career or business
Abundance in your intimate connection with your higher power
ABUNDANCE IN ALL AREAS!
It really is what you were born to experience so why the heck not?!
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