Do you have any boundaries?
Do you know when to say yes and how to say no and MEAN it?
Because if you have big ideas about what you want to make happen in your business and in your life then you must have boundaries or else you will live to everyone else’s agenda for you.
OK, so I am not the most submissive of people but even I had to learn to say ‘no’. And it is not always easy as you try to navigate the rights and wrongs of a particular situation. You wonder if you are being too harsh or whether you are being too giving. You start to question other people’s motives and you wonder if they really mean to take advantage of you.
And it gets even tougher if they are family members.
You are so used to saying ‘yes’ all the time and so saying ‘no’ is tough.
You want to help…
After all, that is why you got into business…
To help people but then it seems that your help is being taken for granted at the moment and you wonder if you are selling yourself short.
Life is just a ittle more complicated now that you have thrown your business into the mix. It was easier when you went out to work because there was the expectation that you would not be available during the day.
There was the expectation that you would be tired and spending time with your immediate family in oru spare moments, but now no one is taking your business that seriously and so they think you are available.
And you wonder if they are right…
And so you started by saying ‘yes’ to things you really should have said ‘no’ to. You gave in to family and even customers and now they expect you to keep saying ‘yes’ but you do not want to, anymore.
You feel resentful inside…
And their expectations are draining you of any joy and your focus is on the wrong thing.
It is time to set up boundaries.
You really should already have had them. If you were sitting in front of me, I would ask you where else a lack of boundaries has shown up.
Were you the one at work that could not say ‘no’ to anyone so everyone passed the extra work to you?
Were you the powerful one at work but at home, you were the one in the relationship where your partner walked all over you as he/she got their own way all the time but you pushed down your own feelings just to keep the peace?
Are you the one with parents and extended family that turn up whenever they like without even a word of warning and expect to immediately be attended to, whatever you are doing?
It is definitely time for boundaries.
Business causes expansion in more ways than you realize. You thought it was just a means to an end – more freedom. The thing you did not realize that the only way you get freedom is by sorting out the outstanding issues in your life and this is one of them.
The lack of boundaries has held you back for years and you did not even realize it.
So now, what will you do?
Keep saying ‘YES’ all the time and keep putting your plans and goals on hold?
Or decide firmly what you are trying to create here and be a diva about it, if you must, just do not allow yourself to be derailed.
And when you begin this new regime, the people in your life will not like it. They want the old you back – You were easier to deal with but enough of that.
Own yourself and say ‘No’ unless you really, truly want to say ‘yes’.
You always get a choice.
If you would like to learn more about boundaries and figure out how to stop people pleasing, pop on over to rosemarynonnyknight.com/peoplepleasenomore
