I allowed my upbringing to make me suspicious of everyone
I allowed my upbringing to make me defensive all the time
I was so sure that everyone, and I do mean EVERYONE, was out to get me
They wanted to catch me off-guard
They wanted to see me fail
There was a silent competition going on with everyone in my world – Would I do better than them? Could I prove them wrong? Could I show them how things should be done so that they all see the errors of their ways?
I may be exaggerating slightly in that there were a few people I did trust and allow myself to relax with but for the most part, I was always on edge, always waiting for someone to ‘do me wrong’, always expecting the worst.
And as you will always get what you expect – I always got what I was expecting and I would then use that to tell myself that I was right in being suspicious of everyone.
I forgot to notice that I was literally creating these situations by acting in ways that generated certain negative responses in people.
I see you doing that too.
You have had great reasons to be fearful in relationships
And so, you come to every relationship with your guard already up, ready for them to prove that they are just the same as all the ‘nasty’ people you have ever experienced.
And every action they take is judged by your past experiences. You hope to catch them in a lie, You hope to catch them doing something shady. (I know it is not a conscious hope, my love. For the most part, you do not even know you are doing this.)
You are on your guard all the time
And inevitably, these people will do or say something that fits in with your suspicions and voila!, you have another notch for the bedpost. You can confirm again to yourself – PEOPLE ARE BAD AND I NEED TO BE SUSPICIOUS IN ORDER TO BE SAFE.
And your victim story continues.
Well, I too could have continued down that path but when I noticed I was treating the awesome princesses with that same fear-based suspicion, I realised that I had better heal quick.
I did not want to pass on that fear to the next generation.
And it was certainly not helping my vision to be forever caged behind walls of suspicion and fear.
Did I trust the Divine to keep me safe or not? became the question.
Did I trust that the Divine’s Love was enough for me or not?
Did I trust Divine guidance or not?
With everything I knew about energy and how we attract things into our life, did I really want to continue going around with suspicion & cynicism as powerful energies in my psyche? Did I really want to keep attracting situations, people and events that matched with that low vibe energy?
You are the one with all the choices, my love.
You are the one creating your life, whether you admit it or not.
So, for your own freedom, maybe, just maybe, you want to get clear of those low energies systems.
Use the healing strategies detailed within to clear suspicion, cynicism, distrust from your system.