Every single one of us have gone through pain…
Whether it be pain in our childhoods when people spoke words over us that we did not even know to doubt or whether it is the hurt of losing someone near and dear to our hearts or even just the hurt of unrealised dreams…
These pains are real…
They dog us…
And keep us from a life of abundance, fulfilment, freedom…
IF WE LET THEM…
I have been through my fair share of pain and it has not always been the easiest thing to overcome but I finally got to the point of thinking ‘ENOUGH!’ and I began to take back my life…
1) STOP COMPARING YOUR PAIN WITH SOMEONE ELSE’S
You are not that person over there…
You are you and you have your own unique ways of doing things and your own unique path to happiness.
No one has been through your mess and your pain but you have. Your way of seeing the world is like no one else’s way – That can be a great thing if you choose to make it so.
My stories make me who I am today and though I used to use them to give myself a pass on living the deliberate life, now I use the very same stories to empower me and to empower other people to keep moving forward. ‘If I can overcome that, then I can overcome this’ – is the way I now think but I cannot get that when I spend time wishing that I was someone else all the time. I AM ME and ME is awesome.
2) STOP RELIVING THE PAIN
Yes, you were hurt and maybe you are still hurting but if you are to build a life you adore then you are going to have to give up having a sad story that causes you to stay stuck living in the past.
THE PAST IS DONE!
You can get over it by choosing to let the pain go. Use the story as ammunition to propel you forward, not as a reason to stay forever stuck in this limbo land of never realising your dreams. Keep asking yourself the question “What is the lesson?” when the story rises in your mind. Do not indulge self-pity – Catch yourself as quickly as you can.
3) GO DEEPER INTO CONNECTION
As a spiritual person, you know your connection to the Divine is key. However, when we experience pain, there can be a tendency to pull away from Source because there may be resentment present.
Resentment that we were not protected from pain.
And though you do not understand why you had to go through the hurt you went through, your best comfort and wisdom will come from that connection you have with Source so dare to take your questions there and dare to express your anger and pain there. Though the answers may not come immediately, you will start to experience healing and an ability to let the past go and to see it with renewed eyes as you dare to reconnect deliberately to your higher power.
Too many times, I have wondered why life could not be more straightforward, I still do not have all the answers but I have an ability to move forward that I did not have in previous years when I would simply run from this connection and keep trying to fix it all alone.
4) STOP BELIEVING YOU ARE A VICTIM OF LIFE
It can sometimes feel like life is happening to you and not just life, but specifically BAD STUFF is happening to you. And it can feel hard to see beyond the immediate pain when it feels like there is always something coming at you, some urgent issue that needs to be sorted out.
And yet, you are no victim. You can still choose to rise.
You can always choose your reactions. You can always choose what you do or do not do. You can always choose how you experience the events of life.
So get deliberate and decide how you want to feel, how you want to act.
Do not be led along by the crazy waves of a life that sometimes feels out of control. Get off the train and DECIDE DELIBERATELY how you are going to act in this situation.
5) TAP BACK INTO YOUR VISION
To carry on from the last point, one powerful way to stop being a victim of life is to become a deliberate designer of life.
Events come and they make us feel we have to react and react and react but sometimes, in the context of a big vision, the key is to do nothing to solve that problem or to resolve the situation and simply to keep moving forward towards your vision.
You could be reacting forever – Working very hard to solve problems and resolve your emotions around problems – And STILL find that the next issue is close on the tail of the last one and you then get caught in a reactive cycle where you are always trying to handle one problem or the other.
Instead, have a vision for what you want life to look like and then deliberately design that life even if it means you have to ignore the drama trying to get your attention.
BE A DELIBERATE DESIGNER OF LIFE, not a passive reactor to life.
6) DAILY DO SOMETHING TO TAKE YOU FORWARD
You can wallow in the pain or you can move forward powerfully.
Powerfully does not mean overcoming everything in 3 seconds flat – Powerfully can be crawling forward a little bit each day with all of your being focused on the vision, ever seeking guidance and following through on what you hear, no matter how small the step.
You are born to create and live a life of abundance, fulfilment, freedom (THE DELIBERATE LIFE) – Do not allow pain of the past to keep you stuck in a life that is okay but not AWESOME!
You can have better, if you will dare to go for it with all your being.
Much Amazing Love
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