Stop Counting Yourself Out! YOU ARE NOW IN!

I stood still for a long time…

Thinking that I needed to be perfect and KNOWING that I was not perfect…

I was not creative like this or that person that I compared myself to…

I did not have all that many words to use to really paint pictures in people’s minds of what I wanted them to feel and think as they read my stuff or listened to my songs…

I counted myself out for so long because I thought I was simply not good enough…

I settled for a life as a pharmacist…

Telling myself that that was enough…

Telling myself to count myself lucky…

Telling myself to relegate my vision and calling to the few crevices of time that I could spare while living this ‘half-life’ of mine…

But the call continues to come…

Calling me out…

Filling my hearts with dreams that felt so real and yet SO FAR AWAY!

How could I, imperfect me, PROUD me, ever be good enough to reach those goals?

If my imperfections did not disqualify me then surely my hidden pride did.

Everyone else seemed to be more humble and giving than me…

The stories they told of how they were doing the things I dreamed of, even though they had never wanted to…

It sounded like higher power had sought them out because they were so humble and so willing to lay down their dreams…

And I craved money…

I craved the notice – I wanted to be popular…

I was a weird blend of contradiction…

On the one hand, I did not feel worthy because I was not perfect…

On the other hand, I did not feel worthy because I was too full of myself and thought I was amazing and everyone needed to pay attention to me and my wants!

And I thought that I could never get what I wanted until I managed to humble myself

Or make myself better, more perfect somehow…

And that desire to make money!!!!!  That had to be cut off!  how dare I think I could make lots of money simply because I wanted to?!

That was not humble!

I would be punished for even thinking this way, I thought…

I resigned myself to forever being confused and unworthy…

I began to lose hope for change…

And all the while, I WAS THE ONLY FUCKING THING IN MY OWN WAY!

All these thoughts and beliefs, holding me back…

Thinking, thinking, overthinking instead of simply caring enough for my people to show up…

Holding back, waiting for some voice from the heaven when I could simply choose to fully live to my full potential!

Honey, I woke up!

It took a helluva lot of nonsense to wake me up from my self-imposed stupor but I woke up!

Will you wake up?

Will you see that you are the only thing in your own way?

Your fears

Your doubts

Your circular, pointless thinking

None of that gets you anywhere

And none of it has the power to stop you, unless you keep indulging it

What if you stopped focusing so hard on perfection and instead focused on loving your people any old how you can?

What if you stopped focusing so much on the fact that you crave money (even though you try to pretend you are too spiritual for that! but I know) and instead you focused on caring and serving the people you feel called to serve?

What if you stopped worrying about what people will think of you, whether they will think that you are getting too full of yourself or something, and instead focus on living to the fullness of your potential?

What if you actually stilled your crazy thoughts long enough to hear the voice of Spirit within calling your name, reminding you who you are, reminding you of what you are created to be, to do, to have?

What if you simply stopped questioning all of your desires and you allowed them to manifest because you choose to take steps in their direction?

What if you stopped judging yourself and you started truly loving you just the way you are, while seeking always to expand and be more?

YOU are created in the image of the Divine – There will always be more so allow yourself to be ALL you desire to be!

Fight for, deliberately design the life you are born to live

Because you want to!

PS – If you are feeling stuck and you just cannot figure out how to move forward, then go grab my bestselling book – THE FREEDOM Book.  It is free at the moment at RosemaryNonnyKnight.com/freebook and it will help you see and remove those mental blocks as you read it.  You will receive new insights into what is holding you back and you will learn ways to move forward despite any crazy circumstances.

Honey you are born for more so go get the book (FREE) and lets get you moving forward, making a difference, making a dent.  It is time – RosemaryNonnyKnight.com/freebook


Also published on Medium.

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