This weekend, the family and I went away together. I am writing this from CentreParcs in Sherwood Forest, Nottinghamshire. It is the last evening of the break away and I have thoroughly enjoyed not looking at my phone and being left alone to my own devices.
Unfortunately, on the first night, H came down with an asthma attack which was both a blessing and a curse.
A blessing because I got to stay in bed with her all day and monitor her breathing and continually keep her topped up with suitable medication while getting out of the inevitable swimming activity I get dragged into while on holiday :-). I hate swimming and getting wet!
A curse because, well, H was ill and I had not slept much and frankly, I needed the break to prevent me feeling tired all the time.
Despite this, there is something about time out that really allows you to refresh, reboot and revive your mind. Time away from home life gives you more of a global view of where you are trying to get to and clarity on next steps.
This time was no different. I journal-ed while H slept and really got time to listen to the quiet inner voice for extended periods. Do you spend time really listening to what your insides are saying or does that sound too ‘woo woo’ to you?
As mothers, there are times when life is a mass of keeping everyone around you going. Washing Up, doing the never ever ending pile of dirty laundry, preparing food, keeping house, ferrying children around and a whole lot more. You may just have permanent feeling of ‘Tired all the time’ hanging round you like an annoying scarf you forget to replace so you get to wear all the time.
In the midst of this, you get lost. You know, YOU!
One thing I realised had happened to me in the last 6 years since I became a mum, was that I had forgotten what I enjoyed doing outside of work, child rearing and business. Do YOU remember who you are?
I talked it over with Tloml and sought to remember things I had done in the past and pulled dancing out of my head. I had enjoyed dancing, I used to go to classes pre-children but I had not done that since I got pregnant.
I used to enjoy entertaining friends at my house but now any free time I long to spend trying to be alone with Tloml or alone on my own.
The thing is, under all the permanent mummy tired-all-the-time feeling, I am still a woman that loves to do this stuff. Definitely something for me to work on.
What of you?
Are you lacking in personal enjoyment? Have your desires changed since you became a mum? Is it because you have stopped pursuing your desires due to lack of time and motivation or because you really do not want to anymore because you are a new person with new desires and wants? Do you even know the difference?
Success in life is more than financial. It is living life to the full whatever the circumstances around you. Holding on to or rediscovering you in the middle of seemingly ever present chaos. The chaos may just be a reflection of the mess inside of you. Taking the time to be aware of who you are is essential.
Awareness may not fix it all immediately but at least you begin to get and inkling on where to start, right?
Take the time today to write down what you want, what you would love to do and who you are right now. Then ask yourself, what is stopping you from doing more of what you love. Discard the excuses and step by step, make changes.
Change always starts with You!
Have you forgotten who you are after the washing up’s done and the kids are in bed? Do you wonder where YOU went? I know the feeling and the thing that made the most difference to me was journalling and working with someone else to hold me accountable to making the changes I needed to make.
So what are the next steps? There are Two.
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I look forward to hearing from you.