Man, this last week has been something of a roller-coaster week. I really should know better than to allow that to happen but there are times when you feel overwhelmed by everything happening to you. Just when I thought life was perfect – filled one house with tenants, getting another one ready for tenants, a few house purchases are ticking along nicely and a few leads to follow up on. The kids are getting on with life apart from various illnesses to contend with, particularly H, who keeps having breathing difficulties.
Then, suddenly, I feel overwhelmed and uncertain of myself. I keep plugging along but it is hard to quieten the dark voices in my head as I go from day to day. Of course, fear can be catching. I start to talk to Tloml with fear in my voice and eyes and he gets worried too. Thankfully, not as worried as me so he keeps coming up with rational ways to deal with whatever crisis I seem to be dealing with at that moment but even he finally has to ask me to have a chat with my property friends as they understand better what I am trying to accomplish.
Finally, I do have a chat with friends and even spend an evening with people over a wonderful curry and it is the turning point of my week. I talk a lot with friends (as I have mentioned before, I do LOVE to talk!) But more than that, I realise again that I can do this. I can carry out the goals I have set for myself. Yes, sometimes it seems tough but if I keep going, if I keep pushing forward, I will get to my goal sooner or later. Mr Kiyosaki put out a quote this week on his Facebook page which said
When your own mind tells you to quit, you must ignore your negative thoughts and press on.
That was a timely thought for me. There are times when your own mind is telling you to quit, telling you that you cannot do it, telling you to stay defeated and lie under a blanket and try to pretend your dreams do not exist. At times like that, you must learn to push past those thoughts and find a way to keep going despite the doubts.
This week, the abduction of April Jones has been all over the news and having a 5 year old of my own, I cannot even begin to imagine the horror that is going through the minds of that family. That is real fear, not imagined fear like mine. They are doing all they can to find their baby but yet, they have no control over whether she is found and in what state, April will be in. All of us parents cannot help but shudder and be thankful that our kids are still beside us. What kind of a person puts a parent through this kind of agony?
The sad thing about this case, is not just the Jones’ family, it is also the fear that will tinge the nation as we try further to protect our kids from this unknown danger. We start even more firmly to teach them not to speak to anyone they do not know, not to speak to people they do know if they are not given permission by us, the parents. We find it hard not to instil fear in our kids’ minds even at this early part of their lives. But what is the effect of this fear?
We raise sheep. Sheep who are too scared to step out of line in life, sheep who just do what they are told all the time for fear of being harmed in some way. My babies love to stick their head out of the car window and shout ‘Hello’ to anyone on the pavement as we go past. There is a part of me that wants to tell them to be silent and not draw the attention of the local paedophile or grumpy old man but there is also a part of me that wants them to grow up choosing to speak cheerfully to anyone without fear of harm.
How do I get the message across without fear? And what is the message?
I surely hope not.
Anyway, this post is a bit of a tangent. I just got to thinking about fear and my week and April Jones and my kids etc. The only thing I know for certain is that fear, particularly the one in the mind, is something to avoid at all costs. It makes one make silly decisions or it makes one not make any decisions at all. There are some things we have no control over and fearing them before they happen, definitely helps no one. My heart goes out to April Jones and her family as it is a terrible thing.
The rest of us however, must learn to live with hope, joy, peace and excitement and we must transfer that to our kids.