We human beings do strange things at times.
We always look outside of ourselves for answers. We listen to other human beings who are also on their own journey and we decide that what they say must be true.
Most of the time, we choose not to think for ourselves because it feels hard. We are just about surviving and there is no time to think through what we truly believe and who we really want to be.
We just fall in line, doing what others do around us.
And yet, we find time to look at others and make judgments about right and wrong.
If someone does this, they are wrong…
If someone does that, they are right…
We seem to believe we have a right to judge others but then choose not to look within, for our own truth about ourselves.
I remember being at boarding school back in Nigeria (which I assure you, is not as glamorous as you might imagine) and there were so many judgments about what you were allowed to do as a Christian.
If you so much as hummed a ‘WORDLY’ song, you were considered WRONG!
People came round with their bibles, ready to whack you over the head with it, if they thought you were going astray and it could be a very unloving world, indeed.
I bought into some of that nonsense. There was a part of me that kinda knew that this was not loving but yet, I just joined in with it all because it was the done thing.
I tried to fit in because I have always felt a little like I did not fit in anywhere…
In school, I was 2 years younger than everyone in my year and always felt out of place and in my final years, I started to own my ‘not quite right’ feeling and began to take on the woes of those in grade levels below me and in fact, got an award ‘Mother Africa’ for it.
The award was meant as an insult because it was considered, by popular poll, wrong to associate and spend time with people in lower years but I was actually proud of it because it felt like I was learning to love, I was learning to be who I wanted to be – A loving individual who wanted others to flourish as well.
Before I woke up to my own BEingness, I had conformed to other people’s standards and experienced being someone other than who I wanted to be.
I had been treated badly the first 2 years of being in this school so in my third year, I decided to follow the crowd and treat others badly too. I did not like who I became in that third year so then I turned things around when I went into my 4th – 6th years.
I became someone who just tried to love on other misfits.
Why do I share this?
I do not completely know…
Except to say that we get to choose always who we are.
And sometimes, the only way we figure out who we want to be is by being who we do not want to be and taking the time to answer the question…
IS THIS ME?
When we make judgments about others, it stops us looking inside at ourselves…
When we listen to others’ ideas of right and wrong and refuse to take the time to figure out what we truly believe, we feel wrong inside and for the spiritual types among you, you feel distant from God.
Every step of life is an adventure to uncover who we really are and yet, most people go through life blinded because they choose not to look and see what feels right for them. They allow others to make these value judgments for them instead of figuring out their own answers.
Because I like to bring people freedom in business and wealth, let’s talk about that…
You are broke all the time because it feels more holy to be poor rather than deal with what it would say about you to be rich. You have bought into false ideas that to be rich means to take from others by force if necessary or so you have judged.
If someone does talk about money and God in the same statement, you feel it is your duty to correct them immediately or keep away from them. You whip out your bible or other favourite holy book and quote this scripture or the next trying to bring everyone to your borrowed, un-considered way of thinking…
Instead of looking within you to see why you have such a judgment about all things wealth.
And if you do get wealth, you feel guilty all the time because you have made a judgment about what it means to be rich which you are unwilling to question because you are scared about what God might say to you. There is a part of you that thinks He might ask you to give it all away so you ‘sacrificially’ give it away and feel holy again.
Or you feel rebellious for keeping it but deep inside, you want to keep it so you settle for feeling guilty instead of questioning your long held beliefs. You become a testament to the fact that money does not give you happiness because, unconsciously, you feel you have to be. You sabotage yourself in all other areas just to make yourself feel bad about having wealth. Your relationships suffer, your health suffers and you find people to confirm how horrible you must be, all to prove to yourself that you are wrong for having wealth.
Surely it is time to deliberately choose who you want to be and what you want to believe.
Answer the question ‘WHO DO I WANT TO BE?’
And begin the work to uncover that.
Because that is the only place you have control and while you look externally, to other people for your truth, you will never answer that question.
And you will go to the grave dissatisfied, feeling incomplete, feeling like you have not done all you were on the planet to do.
Yes, other people can support you in formulating your own ideas of who you want to be. But you have to actively take part in this process. And the process is only for you, stop being the judge and jury for everyone else.
I have to remind myself of this, time and time again.
I get to share my ideas, my thoughts, my conversations with God but I do not get to batter anyone over the head with it.
And neither do you.
Everyone must choose for themselves – WHO DO I WANT TO BE?
And on that note, I would love to invite you, if the above resonated with you, to the DM fast track group, where I would love to have a deeper conversation with you about who you want to be.
This is a group for determined souls who want to create wealth in their business and in their life while getting the nonsense out of the way so they are free-flowing towards guilt free prosperity.
Find out more here (RosemaryNonnyKnight.com/DM) and if it resonates, come join us…