Recently, I have been battling with my emotions. They have been weighing me down horridly. They have been affecting my work, this blog and more. The Mum-in-Business has Mummy issues 🙂 ! Laughable, right?
My friends, how honest can I be with you? Well, here goes… It is a confessional and yet it is all part of the journey.If you are a parent, do you remember being pregnant with that first child and finding yourself beginning to question the way you were brought up? Even if you are not a parent, maybe you have found yourself thinking a bit about things that happened when you were a child. No, the idea is not to start navel-gazing and weeping about all our joint Mummy issues 😀 . Although, that is what seemed to happen to me.
Going back a few years, my mum was a tower of strength and a powerful lady. She stood up, or so it seemed, against the tide of masculinity that threatened to overwhelm us on the sudden and life-changing disability of my father. She still is a strong woman today and I respect her for her perseverance and strength.
Unfortunately, I come from a culture that demands respect and honour but does not necessarily consider love to be that important. At least, that is my perception. I was content with this until I came to the UK where I discovered that I did not have to do anything or be anything to experience love. All well and good, right?
Thus started years of conflict with my past, my upbringing, my traditions, my culture, my family and my present.
Anyway, this year is the ‘year of self-improvement‘ – time to Find peace inside.
I found a love greater than life itself,
I found a hope stronger and none can compare
I once was lost
Now I am alive in You
The person who wrote this song (I think they are Brian and Jenn Johnson) was talking about the love of God but today while doing my pharmacist stint, it popped into my head and I realised that I too, had found a love greater than life itself. I am no longer willing to settle for mediocre love.
OK, yes, I too love and am loved by God but it seems to have taken me about 17 years to really realise what that means. It is all great and amazing to speak the words of love and claim to believe it but when it really breaks through your defenses and begins to mean something real, it starts to change things. It hurts and yet, it wakes you up to possibilities.
Now, I am not talking just about the love of God, I am talking about being loved by fellow humans, just like you and me. I am talking about recognizing that just because you were loved one way from birth does not mean that that is all there is for you. It is about loving yourself enough to go for the best, truest kind of love, rather than settle for what you were given.
As I go on this incredible journey to discover life in its fullness and build my business as much as I can, I do not want anything to get in my way. Recently, my emotions have kept stifling me. Well, actually, not just recently, this has been going on for a long time but finally, with this being my year of self-improvement, I am on a mission to free myself from all that holds me back and find that peace that has seemed to elude me for such a long time. Join me?
The Epiphany about Mummy Issues
Do you know that the most loving thing you can do for anyone else is fix yourself so they do not have to keep putting up with you? I have FINALLY realised that my choosing not to fix myself, while holding on to the past, was impacting and affecting negatively the relationships in my life. As well as reducing my effectiveness in the business arena because how you do one thing is usually how you do everything.
You probably did not think I was going there. You thought this was going to be an epistle of blame of my mum or family but you know what, I love them and I want to be the best ‘me’ that I can be for my immediate family and my extended family, so it is time to say adios to all the past. Lay down my sword and shield and rise up to a new life.
Lets see what that looks like…