What if you just stopped worrying about balance?
What if you stopped caring so much about finishing everything on that ‘to-do’ list and you just started to realise that this life you are trying to live is just not the norm so the normal rules of acting and being will not work for you?
I know it sounds so glorious to have that wonderful ‘balance’ that everyone talks about…
The personal development gurus rave on about it…
Your friends tell you that you need more of it…
You keep longing for this nirvana place of bliss and balance…
But it ain’t real, honey!
It just ain’t real!
The thing the personal development gurus ain’t telling you, is that when they were getting that book into your hands and the hands of all the people who made it a New York Times Bestseller, they had NO BALANCE!
NO BALANCE AT ALL!
They simply KNEW what they wanted…
And they did everything they could to make it so and ultimately said ‘to hell with balance for now’.
And frankly, while you listen to them and try to follow their perfectly formed principles so that you can get a sense of ‘sortedness’ to your life, while you make yourself feel guilty because somehow it seems like you do not have what it takes to create a lot of wealth, after all you are not following the principles, while you run round like even more of a headless chicken trying to be everything THEY said you had to be…
You are taking your eyes off your goal!
And that, more than anything is the reason you are still struggling.
It is time to simplify your life.
And no, I do not mean in the way that they tell you to.
I am telling you to keep your life focused on your own outcomes, not someone else’s.
What do you want?
Write it down.
Write it down for every area of life…
What kind of parent do you want to be? And please, PLEASE stop judging your parenting by what others have told you that you have to do or be? Or even by the way your parents brought you up!
What do you want the outcome of your parenting to be? Think of that. For me, I want nothing more than to be friends with my kids when they are older and I want them to have a spirituality that they own. Everything else will come out of that so my focus is not on anything but that. And so that informs my actions today and maybe not in the way that the parenting gurus say I should do but I no longer care to play to their rules.
What do you want?
What kind of business do you want to run? And again, do not be limited by the thoughts of anyone or anything. You can build your business to 1 billion dollars in turnover if you like or you can have a lifestyle business or something in between – What do you want?
Who do you want to serve with that business? Write it all down. Get clear as you write and get clear as you take action. Your action may only be an educated guess but you have to keep taking it in order to get clear on your mission and your calling on this planet.
I keep telling you that you cannot get clear on the fence – You have to actually get in the fray!
What kind of relationships do you want? Write them out. Maybe you don’t actually care for relationships right now because frankly, you are too concerned with the above two things and that is fine? Just make a note of the type of relationships you would like at some point and keep on your path because it is on your path that you find the right type of people to hang out with, anyway.
You currently have mostly friends and loved ones who think they know better than you how to live your life, don’t you? They keep telling you to slow down, to stop stressing so much etc etc and so they make you want to go chase after balance instead of keeping your eyes on the life you are creating.
It is time to be done with that!
Accept it, right now.
What of health? You are on a mission, you gotta stay healthy, of course but how you do that… Is completely up to you! How healthy do you choose to be? What exercise can you fit in to make it so? What of your diet? What works for you even if it is not the norm? I have taken to jumping up and running for 200 steps every hour or so to get mine in because I hate the way ‘they’ want me to exercise – I will tell you how that plays out. Make up your own kooky way of doing things because it is YOUR LIFE, you know!
You create your own balance. Let no one tell you how to live your life. You are the only one that will live with regret if you do not do all you know that you are capable of because you are living to a false sense that you are wrong for wanting to have it all.
You are the only one that has to live with yourself.
So, decide for your self what you want and go about creating that with no thought for balance.
And understand that if you have some big ideas, which I know that you do, then you will not feel in balance like the rest of the world want you to feel and that is just okay!
Stop living to their standards.
Smile as you listen to them talk all about how balanced they feel and then ask yourself if you want what they have. And if you don’t, why are you listening to them?
I still remember ages ago, as I made the decision to marry my hubby and I was at a family member’s wedding, a perfectly traditional wedding where the parents had invited every person they knew to show off how amazing their child had turned out and I knew that the bride or groom probably did not know half the people at the wedding but it was the done thing so they went along with it. In fact, I was not even sure how well the bride and the groom knew each other as it was partly arranged.
And I was being dragged through the “HOW DARE YOU marry this white dude?” that happens when you try to break away from your tribe. I had person upon person (again that I did not know) asking me why I did not want a wedding like this where everyone could come and be happy together…
Why did I not want to be accepted by everyone? etc etc
Threats were made, bribes were offered – All to get me to admit that I want to make them all happy by toeing the party line and leaving the white dude behind.
And all the while, I was thinking that there is NO WAY that I wanted a wedding like this. I mean, I was happy for the family member if this was what they wanted but personally, to me, it seemed horrifying.
And I finally found the courage to admit it and I married my hubby and thankfully (as there was no assurance it would be fine and imagine how horrid that would have been to admit to them that I had got it wrong!), we are still together now.
So NO, I did not want the norm. I did not want what everyone else thought was cool and to be desired.
And I still don’t.
I don’t care about stupid things like balance because they take my eye off the goal that I want for my life and business. I am on a mission and I refuse to toe the party line.
You are on mission too. You know you have something inside of you that needs to come out so stop being distracted by things that are irrelevant to the mission.
Find your priorities and live them to the extreme. Forget balance.
Balanced people do not change the world!
Balanced people do not change lives!
Balanced people are boring!
And maybe, I am going a little overboard at the moment but I need you to see that your focus is on the wrong thing! You are following principles instead of following your own bliss.
Let your own bliss, your own goals lead you to the right balance for you.
Not some generic rules about what you SHOULD do to be balanced or mindful or any of that nonsense.
You have a lot on your plate – Take off everything that does not matter to you and learn to manage the anxiety that comes from living a life like no one you know, lives. There will always be things on that ‘to-do’ list because you are not dead so get over it.
Keep your focus on your priorities and get to work creating them – Leave chaos in your wake, if necessary and as soon as you can afford a clean-up team, hire them!
For now, do the important things to the detriment of everything that is not a goal of yours.
Simple, and yet not all that easy, is it?
You will feel the tension inside as you start to say ‘no’ to things that you used to give a grudging ‘yes’ to.
You will feel the tension as you start to feel like you are ignoring the advice of people in your life that you used to listen to…
Your ‘to-do’ list will taunt you with its incompleteness…
You will get a feeling that your friends think you are working too hard…
You will feel all this and more and yet, when you relax about it all and just do the work that you are called to do, it just will not matter!
And you will change lives and create wealth and you will be spent when you get to the end of each day and the ultimate end…
Stay the course and live life deliberately!
It is time to fight for, to create the life the business that you want.
And you just will not get it, being a ‘NORM’, ok?
And just so you know, I am leading a new group of weird and crazy leaders like you and I, in a mastermind group called the Wealthy Set. We are on a mission to impact people, change lives with our products, service or opportunity and create a whole lot of wealth while doing it. It is not for the ‘norms’, it is for those who understand that this path we are on, is the narrowest of narrow paths and not everyone can handle it, but we can! We are up for the challenge and know that we need a supportive posse around us because what we seek to do here is usually misunderstood by the ‘norms’ in our life so we need a new set of relationships that not only support us but also brainstorm new ideas with us and hold us to account.
The wealthy Set mastermind group is exactly this for you – And I invite you if any of this resonates with you, to take a look at what is on offer at RosemaryNonnyKnight.com/wealthyset and follow the instructions on the page for the next step. This is only for 5 people – It is an intimate online mastermind group run over skype/phone so it matters not, where you live.
Pop on over now to RosemaryNonnyKnight.com/wealthyset to find out more.