So many people I come in contact with have shut down…
They have put a shell on themselves…
They feel sure that this life, that is so unsatisfying, is the only option available to them.
And I look on in pity.
Mostly, I have learnt not to butt in because unless someone asks for my support, they are not really listening to me or willing to do what it takes to break free of the chains that bind them up in fear. I too, have been subject to fear and even on ocassion, I still succumb and I work with a coach to help me face up to it because I refuse to be trapped there anymore.
But it is so easy to keep living out your fears.
So easy and most of the time, you do not even realise that you are doing it!
Oh no! You think that this is normal and so, even when new opportunities arise, you cannot see them. All you see is all you expect to see and then I come along and ask you to look over in the other direction and sometimes, you see what I am saying but a lot of the time, people think I am just being annoying.
Anyway, just in case you are ready to discover a new way, let me give you a few ideas…
Stop listening to the negative voices
Do you know if you have one? Or are you like a client of mine who thought that he was pretty positive until he started paying attention. And then he realised that actually, the voice in his head was pretty negative most of the time. And that voice had been leading him to take protective action instead of open and free action.
Not a great place to be, right?
And yet, I wonder if you are as aware about the voice in your head as you think you are.
Start paying attention. You cannot change what you are not aware of. And once you start listening in, start deliberately turning things around. Start talking back to yourself about all the things you can do.
Go on, give it a try.
2. Stop living like a survivor
I understand… You have been through such a lot and you did survive.
However, you are past that now, right?
You came through and you do not want that to define you forever, do you?
Whatever he did, she did, they did to you can no longer be allowed to determine the direction of your life. You are your own person and I know that you are pretty darned strong so it is time to really set that stuff down so that you can get on with the rest of your life without fear.
Forgetting that you survived something will not make you open to it happening again so it is okay to lay down your armour. Your bulletproof shell is keeping you from all that life has to offer.
3. Look For Abundance
It is a choice to look for and see abundance, you know? It is not something that happens to you. It happens because you look out for it, it happens because you choose to deliberately be open to it.
You may listen to all those hippy spiritualists talking about abundance and you know that that has not been your experience to date so you dismiss them without a second thought. And yet, how is your current way of thinking helping you?
Choose to deliberately and, without turning into a freak, look out for abundance so you can step away from fear-based, small living.
4. Question all that anger
Do you find yourself getting angry a lot of the time? For the smallest thing? Your kids speak to you and you snap back and you even feel justified because they need to understand how you feel inside. Go on, get real with yourself, how often do you get angry? Are your kids afraid of you some of the time? Is your partner telling you about your anger and you disregard him/her? Because you think they are exagerrating.
Time to take an honest look at what is going on inside of you and figure out where the anger is coming from. It is usually a symptom of fear but in your case, what are you afraid of? How will you deal with it, if you refuse to look at it?
Pretending to be ignorant of the issue does not make it go away!
5. What do you expose yourself to all the time?
It has become sucha normal pastime to expend a lot of time watching programs that feed fear, listening to things that feed fear and reading things that feed fear. IN fact, for a long time, I loved horror movies. It took getting pregnant and realising that I did not want to expose the baby in my womb to such stuff – I still remember sitting in the cinema watching Constantine and thinking to myself “What on earth am I doing here?” – and in that moment, I chose to cut that stuff out of my head (most of the time – I do quite like ‘Walking Dead’ – No perfection here!).
I have cut down on my ingestion of horror books, the news (which can be pretty horrifying at times) and programs that are the direct result of some super-creative mind. It just made me walk around a little more afraid than I needed to be.
What are you exposing yourself to?
6. Stay present in the NOW
Fear only ever exists when you think of all the crazy possibilities in the future or you dwell on the hurts and pains of the past. What if you just stayed in the right now?
Righ now, in this moment, you are absolutely fine, aren’t you?
There is nothing you cannot deal with right now and I personally am a firm believer that there is nothing that comes your way that you do not have the wherewithal to deal with. So why bother worrying about it in the now?
Be free of worry – It is a choice. When you feel the fear, the worry some into you, don’t retreat or try to fight it, just surrender to it without a label. BE super-conscious of where you feel it in your body and keep bringing yourself to this moment where everything is fine. And this moment where you know you are able to deal with anything at all. As you send those strong thoughts in the direction of the fear and the worry, you start to feel it dissipate.
The key is to be deliberate, instead of letting the fear determine your next move.
7. Define those dreams
And finally, define your dreams. What do you really, truly want? Get very clear about it. Instead of allowing your fear tell you that they are impossible. Allow them to come through. Write them down and each day, each week, each month (as frwquently as is practical), do something you want to do in the direction of your dreams. And take something out of your life that you no longer want. I ABSOLUTELY know that if I was working with you, we would figure out ways to do this but as you are reading this on your own, you are goign to have to stretch yourself a little to think outside of your box.
Start creating little by little, the life you actually want. You can do it if you choose.
And if you are ready to increase your wealth doing things your own way in business and life, then pop on over to RosemaryNonnyKnight.com/toolkit to get the free entrepreneur wealth pack designed to get your insides and outsides doing the work that will create wealth for you.
And if you know that you would like a little more personalised attention as you stop living your life in fear, then let’s have a fierce conversation where I will help you get clear on what you want and what is getting in the way of you getting it – RosemaryNonnyKnight.com/fierceconversation