I still remember the day I came back from boarding school for a half term holiday. I possibly was only 8 or 9 at this point and I hated school so much because I was away from home all alone with people who used me as their personal servant.
I came home with a grand total sum of seven Naira (Nigerian Currency). This was money I had saved up from the pocket money provided by my parents. I had saved it as a treat for my siblings. Excitedly, we went off to buy suya (a lovely barbequed meat). Somehow, we knew it was not the done thing in our house and there might be trouble for doing it. So we ate our secret pleasure quickly but then one of my siblings forgot to throw the packaging in the bin.
My Mum returns home and sees it and starts to question where this guilty pleasure had come from. I find myself being punished for using my saved up money to buy something I enjoyed. And to this day, I wonder what that was about. I remember being told that I should not spend money on myself and I should have saved it for something more worthwhile. Like what? I wonder :-).
This was certainly one of the incidents that shaped my relationship to money.
It filled me with an unnamed guilt about spending any money on myself. I had to be frugal all the time rather than generous with myself or with others and that left me always with a vague feeling of lack. No matter what I had, it was never enough.
If all you feel is lack, then guess what, that is all you see! It affects your relationships, your business, your generosity, your life.
What of you? What stories do you have surrounding your relationship to money?
The problem with lack is no matter how much you have, no matter how changed you are, you can not shake the feeling that it is not enough. You become consumed with the getting and not so much with the serving of others. You spend nothing on yourself because it feels like a waste. You feel like you are not worth it.
If you are a parent, your excuse becomes that you must spend only on the kids and you leave yourself out of the equation. The thing is, there is a right way to do this and a wrong way. When you use this story to hide the fact that you do not feel worthy to spend on, you are left feeling broke, unhappy, frumpy and generally horrid.
I know because this was me just a year or two ago. My wardrobe contained clothes from years ago. They no longer fit right but I did not want to spend any money on myself. This just reinforced my feelings of lack, my feelings of not being worth it, my inability to see the abundance around me so I remained there.
As I worked through forgiveness with my coach, I began to recognise that I was free from lack and I was worthy to treat! In terms of my clothing, I spent time with a personal shopper at Debenhams, changed my wardrobe and started to feel great about me and the way I looked. I still spend more on my princesses than me but I am coming from a different place inside.
I KNOW I am worth it! I KNOW abundance is all around, I just need to tap into it.
This, in turn, allowed me to break through some of my blocks and challenges. I started to see them for what they were – Not as big a deal as I had thought. Just by changing my viewpoint from lack to abundance, I started to create solutions I could not see before.
Maybe this is the secret sauce for you.
I do not care where you live, lack does not have to be all you know.
Abundance is just a thought away.
Yes, it is a thought away but on your own, it can seem like a million miles away. You are not alone; Take advantage of a complimentary success strategy session. Let’s identify and demolish the blocks you have. Apply today by popping over to http://RosemaryKnight.com/movingforward and I will be in touch.