Let me ask you a question (ok, maybe a few…)
What do you want?
What do you really want?
Do you want to create wealth?
Do you want a business that fulfils you?
Do you want to do work that stirs your soul and brings you to life? Work that makes you wake at 4am with a spring in your step because you GET to do it?
Yes, this is what you want?
Then honey, who cares what the ‘norms’ say?
They will all have their opinions about how hard you are working, how much time you are not giving them, how different you now are, how you need to chill out and just be like them etc
And worst of all, you will have these ideas running through your brain as well.
You will think that they are right because this is the way you have always thought as well.
You will feel guilty for standing up for your own life, you will try to conform to other people’s ideas for you and it will all keep you trapped and bound in a life that you do not want.
It is time for you, the real you, to rise up and claim back the life that you are born to live.
Only you can do this and you must give yourself permission to do it, without all the guilt, ‘have to’s and ‘must do’s… What do you WANT TO do and even more than that what do you CHOOSE to do?
1. Be willing to walk alone
To get results you have not had before, be willing to walk alone for a little while. We have all been brought up to obey the herd, to be part of a tribe and we tend to move from one tribe to another as we redefine our place in life. It starts up with being a member of a family and trying to conform to the rules of that tribe and then we may have broken free a little bit to form a new bond with our peers at school and then at work and so there are innumerable bonds to being a certain way to different people.
You even notice that you act differently depending on who you are with.
It is now time to get clearer about who you really are and yes, that may mean that you have to permanently break bonds with people who refuse to allow you to grow because they have a certain expectation of you and they DEMAND that you stay in the box that they have fit you in. They do this by making you feel guilty every time you try to do something different.
It may be time to say ‘No’ and to see it as a complete sentence. Yes, the consequences may well be that you feel alone for a while but it is only for a season, not forever.
You have to take the time to define who you are without all the influence of people who have their own agenda. It may be that they do love you and are worried about you but it is not their place to define who you are allowed to be so no longer allow it.
STEP UP and walk tall as who you really are.
2. Be willing to walk in uncertainty for a while
After spending your whole life being defined by someone other than yourself, there will be a level of uncertainty as to whether you can do what you set out to do…
That is okay, ride the wave of uncertainty.
Do not see it as something to avoid and also, do not spend every single waking moment trying to create certainty. That just keeps you stuck and then you start to prove the norms right as you are unable to move forwards or backwards because you think it should not feel like this.
When you are starting anything new, of course it feels uncertain and you wonder if you are crazy and deluded. And honey, you are and that is okay. Do you think any sane person changed their life or changed the world? No, those who strive hard to appear sane in the eyes of the masses end up being the masses – the norms.
You are trying to be great so do not expect to find certainty in the life you used to live or even with the people you used to do life with.
You have a vague idea of what you want? Good, now take the first step even though it feels unclear, murky and you wonder if you are crazy. This is the thing I know, your business and income will not grow while you navel gaze so take action – Follow the 90 minute plan (RosemaryNonnyKnight.com/90min) for now and do it daily. Refine it for your needs as you form new habits that move you forward.
CLARITY IS FOUND IN ACTION, NEVER EVER ON THE FENCE!
It is the action you take even with the lack of certainty that will help you get more certain about your direction and the things that you are doing. It is as you are on the journey that you get exposed to other people taking the crazy, deluded and yet, more fulfilling path and it is then that you realise that you have had a curtain drawn over your eyes all your life but it is now time to see life as it really can be.
3. Be willing to ask for support
Find mentors, coaches, mastermind groups that support your vision for a more fulfilling life and business. The Deliberate Millionaire (RosemaryNonnyKNight.com/dmlifetime) may well be EXACTLY what you need but even if it is not, find SOMETHING!
Do not make the transition tougher than it needs to be by literally trying to do it all alone. Do not be the lone wolf – find a new posse, a new tribe to be part of. Do not allow that new tribe define you before you have defined yourself, of course but then remember you go through different stages of clarity as you go from glory to glory in your life. Expect to outgrow people and do not feel false loyalty to anyone.
4. Love Them Anyway
It is easy to get all angry and unforgiving about the people in your life who have seemingly held you back. For your own sanity and for your continual growth, find a way to love all people whether they agree with you or not. Your unforgiveness does nothing but keep YOU bound and tied up in knots about your past.
As mentioned already, find a loving and supportive space to be yourself, whatever that is and know that you do not need the love of all people while you choose to offer love to all people. Be the stronger individual and do not allow people’s love for you to come with strings.
Listen, we are now in the second month of 2016 – Do not keep waiting for things to change without any input from yourself so take steps now to be the person, the leader you know you are born to be.
Fight for, create the life and the business you want.