If you will get this revelation straight in your mind and soul, everything will change for you!

I had a revelation this morning…

A revelation so deep, that I cried and cried and CRIED as I surrendered to it…

And what was this revelation, you may ask…

Keep reading, we will get to that…

But first tell me…

Do you sometimes feel like a misfit?

Like you are trying to force your weird shaped, pokey self into a nice, usual, round hole?

Do you sometimes feel like an outsider amongst people you have known your whole life?

And so you try to be part of the crowd because well, you have to be, don’t you?

You have to fit in…

To belong…

And surely, it cannot be right that you are the only one that thinks the strange things you think?

And anytime you go to get help from anyone, even people you trust, they all tell you what is wrong with you and they tell you what to do to make it right but it never sticks because YOU always come back through…

Like an alcoholic, you keep falling off the wagon…

And you feel these ‘experts’ looking at you, pitying you, for not being able to just be like them…

They pity you because they do not think you can ever be happy while you hold on to this strange part of you…

And even you start to agree with them because there is this tension inside of you…

ALWAYS!

This feeling that there is something wrong…

Something so completely off with you…

And so you need to fix it…

And so you try…

You try and you try and you try…

But living like them, feels like you are dying inside…

And so you rebel…

You go try find your own way…

But always, at the back of your head, is this holdback…

This thought that there is a normal way to do things and that you are fucking it up!

You never completely feel at ease with yourself…

You almost feel like you have to apologize for your quirkiness, for your weirdness, for your craziness…

And your inability to just fit within the lines…

You always feel like you are rebelling…

And you are sure that you can never fully prosper if you are so way out there…

And if you are me…

You know you are called to tell people to live FREE…

But…

You have ‘being a christian’ rules to contend with…

The ‘being a part of your Nigerian family’ tradition rules to contend with…

Personal development rules to contend with…

And ‘the way business SHOULD BE built’ rules to contend with…

And ‘ the being a great parent’ rules to contend with…

And that, as a woman, ‘how dare you think that you can stay married to your husband and also grow an empire’ rules to contend with…

And the ‘you must not love yourself all that much if you wanted to improve your body and you went and had plastic surgery’ rules to contend with…

And the ‘how dare you think you can sing and speak and write about anything you like and still win’ rules to contend with…

And the ‘HOW DARE you give people permission to be their highly-sexual selves when you claim to be a christian’ rules to contend with…

And I could go on…

And every freaking day, you wake up and you feel like a rebel, a misfit, a fool…

And every day, you are torn between just being a normal person and actually fully owning who you really are…

And every day, you want the world to wake up to freedom but you know that you are not yet completely free from these same hold-backs that everyone else suffers from…

And hating the fact that you still want to be like everyone else and almost wish you could simply be like them and not care so much about freedom…

And the only reason you show up every fucking day is because you are a pig-headed determined mofo…

WHO WILL JUST NEVER QUIT!

But there is always this feeling that you are getting every freaking thing wrong!

And that maybe you are being punished because you refuse to fit…

And there is this continual internal battle between who you think you should be and who you are…

And then, one day, Spirit really breaks through…

AND SHOUTS

“THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!”

And in that moment, you realise that you are holding your own blessed self back because you, like you tell everyone else out there, have thought that you needed permission to just allow yourself to be you.

And so you cry and you cry and you cry and you make a decision to simply love all of you and keep away from all those people who will tell you how wrong you are and how you will never win at being you…

And you recommit to telling the ones you are called to serve that THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THEM!

But you know most of them are not ready to hear that because it is so tough to break free from the chains of normalcy and to fully own your crazy…

Obviously I still struggle with it!

And I know that even though I know now that there is nothing wrong with me, there will still be parts of me that will want to belong…

That will second guess myself…

That will think that I am being punished…

And yet, I also know that I am committed to this narrow, oh so narrow, path…

I am done with trying to be ‘humble’ or whatever it is that people think they are being when they stifle themselves…

I am done with it.

Yes, I want to be significant and there ain’t nothing wrong with that…

Yes, I want to be a multi-millionaire while being myself and there ain’t nothing wrong with that…

Yes, I have a message of freedom to share even as I am still on the journey myself and there ain’t nothing wrong with that…

Yes, I am different and I fucking OWN IT!

Yes, Papa loves me just the way I am and even if the world rejects me, I will still speak and there ain’t nothing wrong with that!

And yep, I am being pretty darned dramatic but you know what, I don’t care.

(Or maybe I do, a little but meh!)

All I know today is this…

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME

so I can stop digging and simply surrender to my craziness and allow Papa to lead me where He wants me to go.

And I invite you who this resonates with to KNOW the same…

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!

OK?!

Learn to love who you are, fully

Your prosperity is found in your crazy.

Do not stifle it!

Do not let ‘the rules’ condition you into thinking you need to play small…

FREE YOURSELF from the rules!

AND BE YOU!

And by the way, I wrote a book about FREEDOM – It is even more powerful than I realised it was at the time of writing it – It contains ideas, thoughts, things that have been holding you back – It became an Amazon bestseller and you need to go get it and I am giving it away for free – Lucky you!  Get it and READ IT at rosemarynonnyknight.com/freedombook

Now go forth and fight for, deliberately design the life you are born to live

Because you want to

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