Lets talk about your doubts, leader…

You have them…

You don’t want them…

But they are there…

And there is no one you can really talk to about them because you are supposed to believe what you have always believed and to admit that you are no longer so sure, would be too scary for words…

Because people look up to you in your religious organisation…

You lead them and they look to you for guidance but you have these doubts…

I had these doubts…

They gnawed at me…

I felt like a fraud…

But I never really spoke about them out loud for fear that I would call down the wrath of God on me…

For fear that I would no longer be allowed to sing in the worship team…

For fear that I would lose my friends…

My position in church…

For fear that if I ever gave voice to these doubts, I would go down into a spiral of despair and crazy that I would never be able to recover from…

And God would abandon me because I was oh so doubtful!

I was not so sure that I believed all the preacher peeps any longer…

What they and I were spouting as truth did not seem to help anyone…  Not really…

All there seemed to be were hurting people hurting people…

And everyone else turning a blind eye to it all…

It felt horrid.

But I had been brought up to believe all this and also, I was not supposed to question it…

That would bring down curses, wouldn’t it?

To question God’s anointed?!!!!  NOw that would surely bring a curse or two!

And I knew that I was called to help people create wealth and live to the fullness of their potential but I really did think that the only way to do it was in the bowels of a spiritual organisation somewhere and so I stayed put…

Doing what I was told I had to do…

Submitting to other people’s wills…

Living out their agendas for me…

Waiting for someone to tell me when it would be my time…

Passing out judgement like candy and calling it ‘tough love’…

Not quite believing but trying very hard to ignore the doubts and ‘live by faith’!

Passively going with the flow…

Telling myself it was the right thing to do but really shirking responsibility for my own life!

Is it any wonder that I still did not have anywhere near the impact that I knew I was born to have?!

I mean prophet upon prophet had spoken all these prophetic words over me…

I KNEW I was born for more…

But these doubts seemed to be taking me away from my path…

Or so I thought!

I did not see that I was placing man-made limits on my Higher Power, on God!

I was telling Him that I could not do the work He called me to because that would mean disobeying the rules I thought He had put in place…

And I felt all this because I myself was unable to hear from HIM!

I was listening to all these second-hand pieces of information and was too scared to question any of it…

I talked about love and freedom…

I sang about it…

I raised my hands to the heavens about it…

And yet, love was conditional upon me obeying the party line…

Freedom was not freeing at all…

And I even invited people into this crazy form of bondage!

Ignoring my doubts and just trying to be what I was supposed to be – Certain!

But I was certainly not certain!

And leader, I see ou in that same crazy spiral of doubt that I found myself in…

You know God is out there or more truthfully, in you somewhere…

But all this external charades that we are expected to perform to…

It all feels rubbish!

It feels unloving…

It feels wrong…

And honestly, it does not help anyone…

It just makes more judgmental followers who are doing nothing to impact anyone outside of their little circle of friends…

And surely, you are done with that  too…

I got done with that…

I got fed up of toeing the party line…

I got tired of pretending I believed what I did not believe…

And so I walked away for a season.

Maybe you need to, as well…

I walked away in order to find my truth again…

The simple belief I had that was now sucked away in a mass of traditions, rules, laws that felt nothing like love…

It was heart wrenching to do…

So scared I would never get to sing again…

So scared that I would never find a place to be fully me…

So scared that God would actually punish me for this act of defiance!

But I could no longer live a lie…

I used the excuse of having to work on a Sunday to retreat but really, I needed a time-out!

Some time to figure out what I really believed…

To find a more intimate relationship with Source that empowered me rather than stifled me…

One that I was free to forge in any way that I liked!

Rather than in the prescribed way…

And it opened me up to love, to abundance, to more power and to FREEDOM!

My sexuality got cleared and healed…

My ability to parent my kids got cleared and healed…

I am impacting more people now, while speaking the words given me by Source…

I am singing again because I want to…

I am making money being myself…

And I am creating a ‘Because I want to’ lifestyle with absolutely no fear!

And you know you too are born for freedom…

TRUE FREEDOM, not one that comes with man-made restrictions…

I mean, seriously, what kind of freedom is that?!

You want to experience love, unconditional love…

YOU want to do the work you are born to do and it is bigger than big…

But you have felt proud about it because ‘they’ told you it was not your time yet…

But did you ask your higher power?

Really ask him without all the filters you have been trained to put in place?

The thing is, Leader – I get you…

I really get you because you and I are similar, so very similar…

And you do want to impact a lot of people…

You do want to make a lot of money…

And you do want to do it all on your terms…

But you struggle to reconcile that with this belief system that you feel you must hold on to dearly…

I know!

And no, I am not saying I am your answer…

Or that you just need to believe all I say on face value…

Of course not!

that would defeat the whole object of this…

I want you to see that you have to create space to find YOUR answer…

You have to get a lot more deliberate about your beliefs…

All good things, all the things you dream of start by you facing those doubts, not hiding from them…

Not pretending they are not there!

That helps nothing…

That gets you nowhere…

That gets NOBODY, none of the people you are called to serve, anywhere…

You ARE leader and if you are too scared yourself to face the truth of your doubts…

Then how can you, in good conscience, keep leading them?!

Leader, you have to get clear…

You have to find the courage to face your doubts and come out on the other side of them…

To let go of old thinking and step into something more expansive!

Stop trying to sweep it all under the carpet and pretend it is not there!

It holds you back from doing the work you are born to do.

And you know you feel held back…

All those big ideas and big dreams trapped under beliefs that you now doubt!

And you do not talk to anyone about it because they just might judge you, take away your title and you could be left with nothing but your doubts…

And you have seen what happens to others who start to express the thoughts you are thinking now…

And you are not quite sure you have the courage yet for that to be you…

Leader, I am here.

The truth stands up to scrutiny and your higher power does not want you to hide from your doubts and just go on pretending everything is alright.

That would be a lie.

And you will then not allow yourself to prosper because you feel bad, evil, wrong and not worthy of being a leader!

And still, YOU ARE LEADER!

And this is all a part of your journey…

But it can be the end of your journey if you refuse to do the work of questioning, fishing out and standing for your true beliefs…

This is a part of the reason that you have felt so stagnant for so long.

Yes, you put a smile on it and keep talking the talk so no one really suspects that you have these doubts…

But. YOU. know…

You know that this is not the way it is supposed to feel or to be…

And you want freedom…

You want to KNOW truth…

You want to live out your calling in all its fullness…

But you can’t…

Not while you feel all these doubts…

Leader, I learnt that the truth stands up to scrutiny and I learnt that I was limiting myself based on what i had been brought up to believe…

I learnt that there is more to life than my church…

And that the visions and dreams in my heart are not there to taunt me but rather they are there to be fulfilled…

You and I are called to impact millions and make millions and all these doubts about these doubtful beliefs hold us back and I personally chose to opt out from that!

Are you ready yet?

Because honey, the world is waiting for leaders like you and I, to step up and do the work we are born to do…

Free of crazy doubts that hold us back from tapping fully into intuition and power…

So, I made us a place and I am very proud of it, if I do say so myself…

A place where you are free to question anything, everything without judgement…

A lifting off zone…

A place where it is not just about all the navel gazing stuff but also where I will help you create wealth with your true message…

With the products, services, ministry, books, music that now reside inside of you and want to be unleashed…

And in addition to that, you will have a one-on-one consultation with me as well so that you and I can talk about some of your stuff and see if we want to work even closer together – Whichever way, you leave with a next step plan…

This place is called the Deliberate Millionaire Fast Track Group and you are invited.

Take me up on the invitation, honey – Come join us, deliberate millionaires, living a ‘Because I want to’ lifestyle, impacting and making millions.  No longer settling for anything other than the best.

And this weekend you get it at half the normal price.

Why?

Because it was my birthday and I was a little jet lagged so I did not plan this out for you as a birthday present.  So, the idea had been to do it for 4 days from thursday to Sunday so now, I do it from Saturday (today until Tuesday!)  and even more amazing is the fact that I am giving you access to all the programs – no drip feeding, none of that.  I have been thinking about this for a while and now I am actually doing it.  Access to everything today! and get your first month for just $23.50!  No contracts, Stay if you like the community, go if you don’t!

Check it out and come join us!

Fight for, deliberately design the life you are born to live…

Because you want to!

Leave a Reply

CommentLuv badge

Copyright © 2017 Rosemary Nonny Knight All Rights Reserved.
Core Genius Ltd. Office: +44 (121) 318-5554 | 1-850-273-6785 |