Freedom From Normal Manipulative Family Relationships

So, I have a love-hate relationship with my extended family…

I was never quite sure why I felt out of place, thinking there was something wrong with me…

Never wanting to play to the rules…

Never really understanding the FUCKING RULES!

I was considered selfish and rebellious…

The one who spoke her mind and did her own thing, even if it stung…

I was liked and disliked for that…

I liked and disliked myself for that…

I felt wrong all the time…

When I think about it, though I think less and less about it now that I have chosen freedom, I can still wonder if I am wrong, if I am evil and selfish and so on…

Thankfully, I can work it all out with Papa, who I know loves unconditionally, and He helps me see clearly but there is still the feeling of loss…

Africans are supposed to be all family oriented…

We are supposed to know how relationships SHOULD work…

But my relationship with my family mostly felt false and yuk!

But it was all the love I had known…

So, I kept trying to make it work but it felt like I could not be me and be part of family…

And so, I felt alone in a very crowded space.

Surrounded by people who claimed to love me as long as I toed the party line…

There seemed to be a ‘tit-for-tat’ approach to love that I never felt good about…

But I went along with it all until I hit the rock-bottom of bankruptcy/depression and then, I suddenly realised that I cannot be passive in any area of my life but I was still afraid to just break free…

So relationships got more and more strained as I was unable to keep saying ‘yes’ to things that I had used to say ‘yes’ too…

As I chose to put my immediate family before my extended family then things got more and more yuck…

As I chose to put myself before everyone, things got more and more yuck…

As I started to pay attention to what made me happy, things got even more yuck…

And the inner tension of realising that if I did want to be free from norm life then I would have to choose it at a high price, became reality…

However, I could not create the life I desired – One with impact and income, doing my real work – while I was trying to be the same as always…

While I was just going with the flow of other people’s agendas for me…

I had to be free, really truly free…

Free to make my own choices without feeling manipulated…

Because it seemed that that was the only way my extended family worked…

Not everyone, mind you…

But quite a few seemed to only be able to revert to manipulation to get what they wanted and I was done with feeling resentful about saying ‘yes’ so I just started saying no…

And refusing to be drawn into the various dramas that certain people always seemed to get themselves into…

I must admit, this is not an easy topic to write about…

It is my story but it is also other people’s stories and it is not my right to tell their stories…

However, the point I am trying to get across to you, the Spiritual Maverick who wants to live a life of abundance, prosperity, impact and more, is this…

There is no area of your life that can remain untouched when you choose to play full out for everything you desire…

Freedom comes at a price and sometimes, that price is saying ‘no’ to people who expect you to say ‘yes’ all the time…

And they may well dislike you strongly for it!

Are you willing to pay the price of being unloved by people you thought loved you? By people who you might think SHOULD love you?

Is your freedom and your big vision worth that?

Do you have enough self-belief to KNOW that you have to break ties and chains to manipulative relationships that drain you?

Can you keep saying ‘no’ when all of the wimpy part of you wants to settle for conditional love, if it means you don’t have to face the truth that it is not enough?

When you are not sure if you will be left lonely for the rest of your life, will you still go for freedom?

Will Spirit be enough for you?

Are you willing to fight for your independence, just like many countries have in the past?  (How we get the idea that freedom is free, I don’t know!)

Or will you settle for a half-life that comes with a fake feeling of love and happiness?

Will you stay in that relationship that drains you because you think it is better than nothing and you fear it is all you can have?

Will you keep holding yourself back because of a false sense of loyalty to people who don’t want what you want and who don’t understand why you want it?  They keep trampling on your ambitions because they don’t suit what they want you to do for them – Will you keep allowing that?

Will you keep fitting in the box others have made for you becuase it is easier than upsetting the apple cart?

Will you keep telling yourself that it is selfish for you to think you have a right to want what you want and go full pelt after it?

OR WILL YOU GO AFTER FREEDOM?

ABUNDANCE?

LOVE?

YOUR ‘BECAUSE I WANT TO’ LIFE?

Will you fulfil the calling on your life?

Freedom, purpose, abundance, wealth have a price…

Especially when you have lived in a world of scarcity, lack, manipulation.

Are you actually willing to pay the price to cross over?

Are you actually willing to be free from the normal life?

Fight for, deliberately design the life you are born to live…

Because you want to!

PS – To live this life and face down the demons that will inevitably come up when you go after your freedom, purpose-driven lifestyle, you need rock solid self belief or else you will waver and settle for much less than your birthright – Join the 16 Day Rock Solid Self Belief Challenge now at RosemaryNonnyKnight.com/rocksolidselfbelief

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