How Finding The Courage To Face My Fucked-Up Inner World Led To Success In The Outer World

I used to be so angry…

So angry with my parents…

Some of my relatives…

LIFE as a whole…

And I was justified…

I could reel off chapter and verse about why I was justified…

They had done this and the other and hurt me when they were supposed to love me in the way I wanted to be loved…

Bring out the violin, honey because I had sad stories to tell and I wanted to make sure everyone KNEW it!

It was a cover, a film, a veil that kept me from facing the fact that if I wanted freedom then I was going to have to let it go…

But it even felt more like a miscarriage of justice that I HAD TO let it go, release it…

I mean, who made those SILLY RULES?! so I had to be used and abused and also then I had to forgive the fuckers that caused me pain so that I could be free?!

Are you kidding me?

How much injustice could one soul take?, I used to think!

I needed to hold on to the pain of it so that I would never allow that to happen to me again…

I had to hold onto the pain of it so that they KNEW they were wrong!

And the deeper reason that I tried to avoid was that ‘who the heck would I be without my story?’ and also “I just don’t have time to handle this stuff – I am alone in it and if I go down that rabbit trail, there will be no return’

I felt like my story was simply bigger, worse and more terrible than anyone else…

And no one could understand…

I did not realise it but I was keeping life at arm’s length…

I did not realise it but I was keeping my own awesome self trapped…

Well, truth is, I kinda did realise it but I was too scared to open up, to let it go…

I did not know what freedom could be like and my experience to that point, seemed to suggest that life was ALWAYS terrible so better th devil I knew than the one I did not.

The one I did not always seems to be worse so I thought, deeper than deep, that I had better limit my expectations and just live with my pain…

It was all a cover for fear…

Being a victim came more naturally to me…

And so I could always have an excuse for not prospering in the way I claimed to want to.

After all, my past life had been terrible and I had done pretty good considering…

Yada, yada, yada…

I was afraid.

It took me reaching ROCK BOTTOM to finally, FINALLY find the courage to rise, to look at my inner world, dare to dive in and get the support I needed to be free…

Not to stay in a religious organisation that, in some ways, supported my broken-ness but to step away from that – Yep they loved me but they wanted me to stay small…

Not intentionally, I am sure but whenever I tried to elevate myself, they seemed to think I was being proud…

I still remember asking the question “What do we have to offer? AS it seems that no matter how much Jesus someone gets, they still remain broken?!”

I finally found the courage to walk away from that…

Even though it indulged my weaker side…

Even though it made that side of me, feel right…

I knew that if I was ever going to fulfill the calling on my life, I had to courageously WALK THE FUCK AWAY!

I did.

And I keep doing…

I learnt to be courageous in healing my inner parts…

It sometimes takes me a long time to do it but MY DESIRES are TOO strong to stay stuck any longer so I learnt to let go faster and faster and faster…

Resulting in more and more abundance for my family and I.

OK…

YOU!

Where are you being wimpy?

You are born to prosper, to overcome…

To build an amazing life for your family…

To build an amazing life for YOURSELF…

To do work that makes you feel alive and free…

to live on purpose!

to be fulfilled

AND RICH!

And yet, you will NEVER get it while you hide from your inner world…

While you walk around with all these veils and shields and pretences…

You stay distant from your intuition/your higher power/ your source…

Because you KNOW you have to handle this stuff in order to be free…

But you are set in your ways…

Habits of victimhood…

Habits of thinking you are hard done by…

Habits of thinking that the world is against you…

Habits of thinking that everyone else has it easier than you…

And we, humans, find it incredibly hard to break habits…

and so we keep love at arm’s length…

Deep down, you feel like you do not deserve to win…

And so you do not win…

You start, you stop

You start, you stop…

It took me YEARS of working with coaches to break this cycle…

It took me from 2010 to date of being in new environments of thought to be here in this moment…

And yet, you think that it should all work in 3 seconds flat…

And you keep running from pillar to post looking for every external tip, trick, strategy you can find but NONE of it works for long because you start and you stop and you start and you stop…

You work with someone then you stop and you work with someone then you stop…

You go find some other magic solution and it still does not work…

Oh honey, my heart goes out to you…

I feel you…

I was you but finally I had to answer this question… and so do you…

Honey, do you want change or not?

My answer was ‘YES’

What is yours?

Fight for, deliberately design the life you are born to live

Because you want to.

PS – If you respond in the affirmative then the ABUNDANCE MASTERMIND is exactly what you need…

Work with me for 8 weeks to Deliberately Design A Life Of Purpose & Prosperity – More money, more happiness, more fulfilment. Increase Self-Love, Self-Confidence And Reconnect With Your Intuitive Power NOW!

RosemaryNonnyKnight.com/abundance

If you are ready to

🔴 Discover Definitely What Your Purpose Is

🔴 Deliberately design a wealthy life and create YOUR OWN agenda instead of just watching everyone else prosper WITH YOUR HELP!

🔴Get guidance on how to increase your income doing what you love and are born to do

🔴 Stop sabotaging your own efforts

🔴 Stop being caught in lack and poverty in any area of life – relationships, health, wealth, work

🔴 Love yourself and follow through on your own agenda

🔴 Forgive any past mistakes, done to you or BY you…

🔴 Stop buying into beliefs that life has to be hard and a struggle and instead create something that flows and is simple

🔴 Stop feeling overwhelmed, alone, anxious, stressed out and all those low-level emotions that keep you trapped in self-sabotage town

🔴 Be deeply connected to your Higher Power/Intuition in a way that makes life feel so easy because you know you are NEVER EVER alone

🔴 Stop fighting who you are because you worry what people will think of you if you really just showed up…

🔴 CHANGE YOUR LIFE in a complete, never go back, transformational way…

Then I invite you to join me in the THE ABUNDANCE MASTERMIND where we will work together for 8 weeks to deliberately design a life of FREEDOM and PROSPERITY as you re-learn how to love yourself, believe in yourself and the calling on your life and also, connect with your intuition/higher power in a way you never have.

RosemaryNonnyKnight.com/abundance


Also published on Medium.

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