Today, my 7 year old, V, came running, wailing loudly, into the house with a bee sting on her neck. She was horrified and almost vowed never to go back out again ever. I calmly told her that she will go back outside because that is just the way things were. I asked if it had been a wasp or a bee while hugging her and getting her to calm down.
She was unsure which had stung her.
Together, we went over to the computer to see images of bees and wasps so she could tell the difference and though she was horrified and slightly scarred on her hairline, she went back outside with her roller blades on.
I was proud of her. She chose to face the fear and do it anyway!
The truth is, I am not sure I would have gone back out quite so willingly :-)!
How many of you reading this feel the same way?
I have spent the last few years handling a lot of fear and there are still boogeymen to fight but I am so much better than I used to be. Being a leader does mean going further than other people will so here are five strategies that will help you move forward when facing your fears.
You cannot fix anything you are not willing to give a name too. We can cover up all our shortcomings with various excuses or we can just face the fact that we are scared of doing something – Feel The Fear. When we truly accept that we are scared, we can now start to find a solution to our fear.
Stay in and face the fear feeling
I know this sounds counter-intuitive as you are desperately trying to get away from the feeling but by acknowledging the feeling, your body can start to find a way out of it or release the tension of it.You must understand that for the vast majority of us, there really is nothing physical to fear. We create a self-defeating picture in our mind and we get petrified about it.By choosing to stay in the feeling we allow ourselves time to recognise that nothing is really that bad.So right now, feel the fear and do it anyway.
Consider the worst case scenario
Chances are that when you do this, you will realise that the worst that can happen is that you lose some money, you lose time, as long as what you are doing is legal, you are unlikely to go to jail and get your freedom taken away.So, if it is a career or business fear that you are facing, dare to consider the worst case scenario and make a contingency for it so that you are no longer petrified about it. Now you know what your reaction will be, you can feel the fear and do it anyway, right?
Feel the fear and replace the sensations
Focus in on the sensations you feel all around your body. Take the time to really consider where you are feeling them. When they are really feeling them, take a few seconds to focus on a sensation you would like to feel – like courage, calm, joy, peace and anything else that makes you happy. Feel that intently in your body.Then flicker back to what you are actually feeling for a few secs and then back again to what you want to feel until finally you find a place of balance. This usually takes clients about 2 minutes to shift their perspective.
Put a positive spin on it
The chances are that if you are wanting to face your fear and reading this article, you are probably about to do something you have not done before. That in itself is a pretty amazing thing for you to be doing.Too many people spend their lives unhappy because they are afraid and unable/unwilling to face it. They are too scared to break out fo their comfort zone so they stay trapped in a life they do not like.The fact that you are daring to feel the fear and do it anyway puts you head and shoulders above a lot of people. So right now, in the middle of the fear feelings, tell yourself that you are being brave, you are being courageous and there is a better thing on the other side of fear waiting for you.
Believe it! Because it is true. Oh so true. Your life is opening up, your life is becoming wide and free, you are becoming more you. Your relationships will improve, your money will increase, your experience of life will open up.
So there you have it, FIVE strategies to help you deal and face down any fears you may have. To end, let me exhort you to stop being a lone wolf and to find someone to partner with you as you walk into your best life. I am happy to have a conversation with you to figure out how I can help you and if that is something you would like, pop over to the coaching page right here ==> Coaching and book a session with me.