The Dark Night Of The Soul

You started in a circle of comfort

It was well-lit

You could see everything

It felt safe

It felt real

It felt certain

And everyone else lived there with you

You felt constrained a lot of the time but that was the norm

To remain in that safe circle, you had to hide who you really were

There is no space for everyone to be themselves so everyone is taught to, and tries to, blend in, be the same…

You had to keep everyone happy

And keep doing what was expected

The occasional person went AWOL and left the circle

Everyone gossiped about that person

At one point, you never wanted to be that person

You wondered why anyone would do such silly things like leave the circle

It felt safe and normal

And then one day, you realised that it was not enough for you (Maybe you had a crisis or someone let you down or you just WOKE UP)

Surely, this circle could not be all there is

And so, you found the courage to venture out of the circle…

Of course, people started to talk

They even tried to dissuade you

Some with threats

Some with kindness

But you found the courage to open the door and escape into the next circle

And it was a bigger circle

There was more space there

A little darker…

A bit more mysterious…

More to explore…

But still kinda safe

And you could see the initial circle of comfort

It felt like you could return anytime you wanted to

But you did not want to

It felt great to be out from the teeny tiny constrained circle

You could see just how squished you had been in that initial circle

And you were so proud of yourself for moving out

You knew that some in the initial circle of comfort would be gossiping about you

But you simply thought they were all silly for staying in that little comfort circle

You judged them as weak

And you felt pretty darned self-righteous that you had broken free

And you felt a bit god-like, if you were honest

You had moved from being a victim of your higher power to realising you were pretty darned powerful in your own right

Woohoo!

But then the itch began again…

That feeling that you were still not quite free enough

That feeling that there was still more to expand into

And you found yourself looking beyond your new expanded circle into the vast unknown

You had this picture inside of you – A vision of what life could look like when you were completely free of all circles…

And you began to crave it deeply

The freedom, the fulfilment, the abundance, the love…

It all called out to you

BUT…

From your vantage point in the circle, the next zone looked black as night

It was like being caught up in a sand storm in the desert… at night

It looked unpredictable and definitely not safe

It seemed even more crazy to venture out there

But something inside called you out

And you figured you could find a way to handle it and so one day, you opened the door and left…

And here you are…

The darkness is darker than anything you have ever experienced

It literally is like being in a sandstorm in a desert…at night

Everything coming at you from everywhere

Having to think on your feet all the time

You can see nothing

And you cannot even see backwards because there is literally NO VISIBILITY

You feel blind

The only thing keeping you pushing forward, is the vision

And the only way to figure out the next step is by going within and asking for it

Suddenly, you feel less cocky

You feel scared.

And for a long moment, you wonder if you are going to die here

You think back to the comfort circles and you wonder what made you think you could leave…

But then the vision of what life can be, if you would just keep moving forward, rises up within you like a beacon and you hear the whisper of the Divine guiding you

“Take this step”

You do

And then the next instruction comes

“Take that step”

And then you do…

You also realise just how bound up you had been to the circles

And you start breaking the cords that keep trying to yank you back

You move faster with each cord destruction…

Cutting the cords takes some doing because there is still a part of you that wonders if you could find peace back in the circles

And cutting the cords feels so final

But the longer you stay out here in the dark, the more powerful and resilient and relentless you get and the less inviting the predictability of the circle, becomes

The predictability feels like slavery

You begin to see that you were a slave to money, to approval, to comfort

You are too far gone now to ever return to that

Once you see, you cannot un-see.

And so, here you are

In what feels like the darkest night of the soul EVER

And yet, you feel this crazy sense of power building up inside of you

Mixed in with trepidation and fear, of course

But overall, you feel at home

You were not created to be safe, stuck, stagnant

Though this feels unknown, it also feels more like what you are here to do

To expand, to explore

To remember

To realise that the only safety you need is to know that the universe literally has your back

You have come to the edge of destruction many times on this path and yet, somehow you are still standing

Your relationship with Source is so intimate and enlightening

You are learning things you would never have in the circles of comfort

You love yourself more deeply than ever before

And you realise that you are not on this path, just for a destination…

You are here because the journey is also the destination

You know you will always desire to go bigger

There is no ‘there’ that you will reach and stop at…

And it feels right, right now

You let go of what you thought you know

You surrender to becoming all that you are

And in that moment of release, it is no longer a dark night of the soul…

It is actually the happiest moment of your life

You know who you are now.

You are no longer impressed by the sandstorm

It is like it vanished, though to others looking from the circle, they think you are lost forever in the storm and they stay stuck, quaking in their boots

You feel at home, at peace

And you look within

Then you take the next step

Much Amazing Love

@Rosemary Nonny Knight
The Prosperity Coach

PS – I help my clients create wealth while living to their TRUE DESIGN.  In the seeming sandstorm, we deliberately design lives of freedom, fulfilment, financial abundance and love.  Are you ready to awaken?

If yes, let’s talk – RosemaryNonnyKnight.com/workwithme

 

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