Confessions of A Highly Sexual Leader Part 3

One day, I woke up and I was considered attractive…

(In case you have not read them, here are Part 1, Part 2)

I went from no one noticing me to every dude on the block wanting to go out with me…

Even my father said “I did not think you would ever get attractive but there you are!”  Yep, it was lovely to find out that he had not thought me pretty before 🙂

Anyway, I had come out of school finally and grown into myself, it seemed and suddenly the heat was even more on…

Suddenly, every guy was attracted to me…

They all wanted to go out with me and I enjoyed the power of it all…

But I always remained in control because as much as I liked the attention, I was not cheap and I was not giving it up for anyone…

And actually, that attitude has meant that the only person I have actually had sex with is my hubby and I like it that way! (Yep, I know I am kinda boring! 🙂 )

But hey, there are other things that can be done to keep people’s attention, right?

I had breasts and that seemed to be enough to keep the boys occupied…

And I would always be the one that stopped them going too far…

Because, truth be told, I was not feeling it…

I was just not feeling it at all…

I just knew that an aroused man/boy would do things for me…

So, I took advantage of it…

And anyway, I got pretty bored with them after about 2 weeks – I could already feel the nausea coming on me by about day 10 and then I would start avoiding them and that would be that.

They would stick around and try to get me to like them again but myeh… they just were not that good…

And there was the underlying guilt…

After all, I was a good Christian girl and I had led revivals at school and now, I was being a classic teenager, looking for cheap thrills as I discovered my power as a woman…

As always, the confusion remained…

Anyway, I did this for a while…

Meeting boys, allowing them to kiss me, showing them my boobs to keep them with me, allowing them to feel them but never allowing things to progress…

I got spotted in cheap hotels by my parent’s friends, where these ‘boyfriends’ took me…

My parents thought it was my older sister so took her to task for things I did…

She valiantly covered for me…

And all the while, I felt numb, asexual, just aware that I had power over these boys…

I could bat my eyelashes, show my boobs and get anything I wanted – How cool!

But… I was a Christian girl, right?

The guilt pervaded my every move…

How could I claim to be Christian, spiritual, love God and still be doing these things?

I felt bad with no one but my young teenage friends to speak too…

But again, I was not completely honest with them either…

I just showed up as loving every minute of it, never able to really say what was going on inside of me…

And anyway, as much as we were discovering our bodies, my friends and I were supposed to be good, christian girls so we said we would never let things go too far…

We were not one of ‘those’ dirty girls…

Putting out for everyone, right?

And then, after a few teasing years, I got shipped off to the UK…

Where life got considerably different and I discovered that pornography was available everywhere…

As well as sex…  It seemed to be as meaningless as washing ones hands…

Or so I said…

To be continued…


As I continue to write this story, I asked myself why?

Why am I saying all this?

After all I am a business coach, who the heck cares about my personal life, my personal craziness but the truth is, I am not and have never just been a business coach.  I have tried to just be that person because I thought that that was what my people wanted…

And I imagine that is what some people do want but they are not my perfect people…

And they need to go find some business coach who can only talk about tips, tricks, strategies…

I am not right for them…

I write these confessions because I see my perfect people stuck, trapped, feeling bad about themselves and I see it affect the work they allow themselves to do…

How can you powerfully choose to change lives and create wealth if you feel scared of who you really are?

Or if you feel bad about it all?

For my perfect people, these posts will resonate with them because they have been through something similar, whether to do with sex or something else…

Whatever it is, if you are my perfect person, you have hidden parts of you that make you feel less…

You hide it and so you can never allow the fullness of you out!

Because people might see…

You have not quite forgiven yourself or some of the people in your life…

And so, subconsciously you hold yourself back from shining…

And you may not even realise it!

All you know is that your business, your life is not working as well as you would like…

And you know there is a block.

I openly share all of this because I am calling you out…

There is work to be done!

You are leader-champion and you have a call, a mission to fulfil and all this hiding has got to cease.

There are lives to be changed and wealth to be created for you and for yours…

It is time to be seen, to be open, to be KNOWN and to be healed…

And I am exactly the person to help you do it.

It all begins by you choosing YOU…

Rather than continuing to live in fear of what people think of you!

Rather than continuing to be less than you are…

Rather than waiting, waiting, waiting to feel good about yourself!

You have a call – It is time to move!

And it starts in the Deliberate Millionaire Fast Track group – Find out more and join at RosemaryNonnyKnight.com/dmfasttrack

Fight for, deliberately design the life you are born to live!

PS – I would love to hear from you…

Either leave me a thought below or private message me on Facebook

PPS – Spirit Sex Success Is coming – Keep an eye out.  Mention if you want to be an early bird because it could be exactly what you need to break completely free from the past and also step more into abundance, wealth and significance.  Early birds get a discount.

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