Bankruptcy Was A Gift

Bankruptcy was a gift

Bankruptcy was a gift though it did not feel that way…

It felt horrid, terrible…

I felt like a failure…

And for 4 years after that, I made it my reality…

Feeling sorry for myself…

Stuck in a dark black, blank hole…

I called it ‘the blank’…

Because I felt empty…

Completely empty inside…

All personal development books sold…

All business dreams deemed impossible…

ALL dreams cast aside…

“This was the real world now”

Or so I told myself…

“You have to learn to live with less, be less, stop dreaming”

“You failed”

The only constant was Papa but even He sometimes got the brunt of my victimhood…

Though He tried to get my attention repeatedly and for the most part, my relationship with Him deepened in this time…

The other light in my life was giving birth to my first princess…

She gave me a reason to pull myself together a little…

And then the next princess came…

And then the last princess…

And finally I realised I had to wake up…

I had to show them what life could be like…

I also wanted to really do life with them…

And yep, I could have gone back to full time work…

Bring in the cash as a pharmacist again…

But the bankruptcy allowed me do something different…

I had hit what I felt was rockbottom…

I had experienced the worst possible thing I could imagine…

AND I WAS STILL STANDING…

Barely…

But still standing…

So, between that and pushing 3 fairly huge babies out of a very small hole…

I figured I could do something different…

I could be what I wanted to be…

I had faced the worst of the worst…

And I was still standing…

Broken a lot…

But standing…

Life is different now…

Oh so different…

I am braver now…

I am pursuing my real dreams now

Living the DELIBERATE LIFE now…

One of connection, calling, clarity…

And helping others do the same…

Yep, bankruptcy was a gift.

Where on earth would I have been without it?!

PS – Find out more about THE DELIBERATE LIFE by popping over to RosemaryNonnyKnight.com/bookgift and picking up a free download of my book – PRAY. AFFIRM. RECEIVE – How to get clear, stay clear and take action to get what you desire out of life.

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