Let me start by saying that anger can be good. It is not all bad.
There may be times when getting angry will wrench you out of a ‘settled-for’ life and propel you towards a life you actually want. It takes a fierce emotion like anger to get you moving at times.
However, you may have anger issues that literally affect your relationships, affect the way you deal with situations, take away your choices because all you see is ‘red’ and you can no longer make a wise decision on the next step for you.
It is at times like that that you must get it handled.
Nothing is allowed to get in the way of your best life, NOT EVEN YOU so here are 9 simple ways to control anger – Before I start, do not expect life to remain the same and still to control your anger. These may be simple tricks to get you under control but they only work when you try them.
A Daily Gratitude Habit
Gratitude is just one of the best habits to develop. When you become someone who sees all the reasons to be thankful, you become someone who sees all the reasons why getting angry and upset is just a waste of time. Count those blessings and big them up in your mind so when you are tempted to erupt in anger, it just does not seem as big a deal.
2. A Daily Quiet Time Habit
Maybe, you are spiritual then you can use this time to get in touch with your creator and tap into source. In the silence, work out any hidden angers, any niggling resentments and learn how to calm yourself down before you actually need to. meditation also helps you to train your brain, to keep yourself in a state of peace, love, joy.
3. A Daily Journal -ing Habit
Again, following the lines of the above two habits, write down in a physical journal (my preference), any of the wisdom that comes out of your quiet time. Ask yourself questions like ‘What can I do to manage my anger today?’ and write down the answer. You may be surprised at what you come up with. Keep your gratitude list in your journal as a place you can refer back to it through the day. When you feel yourself getting annoyed during the day, choose to notice and where possible whip out your journal and express yourself in there, rather than expressing yourself angrily to an actual person.
4. Can YOU Fix It?
Are you allowing yourself to get angry about something that you could easily fix? Maybe, you have mentioned time and time again that your family load the dishwasher a certain way but they refuse to do what you ask. Yes, you can get angry about it but what does that do to your inner peace and your relationships or you could simply fix it yourself and choose peace.
Yes, there are times to be assertive but learning to choose your battles will save your energy for the creation of a life you love, rather than a maintenance of one you do not.
5. Do You Really Want TO Be At The Beck & Call Of Another Person?
One thing you may not be considering is the fact that every time you get angry in response to someone else, you are allowing yourself to be controlled by them. As Elizabeth Kenny says “He who angers you conquers you.” Is that really what you want? Why not make a conscious decision to take yourself away from the situation, take a few calming breaths and then decide from a place of clarity what you want to do next?
Take back control of your emotional state. You are a leader, after all!
6. Who Are You Hanging Around?
When feeling upset and angry, being around others who are feeling the same things is counterproductive. You get more of the same. To increase your resourcefulness and creativity and reduce feelings of annoyance and anger, find someone happy to hang around or a group of happy people. This will raise your awareness levels and help you make a better next step choice rather than resort to being upset and angry.
I know, I know… You may not feel like laughing but you still can find a way to do it. You can choose to defuse a very tense situation by randomly bursting in to laughter. And when you really stop to think about most of the things that make you upset, I am certain you can find a reason to laugh at yourself, rather than go down the well-beaten trail of upset, annoyance, resentments and anger!
8. Change Physical State
Deliberately move, do some exercise. Again, get your body out of an angry stance and you will find it hard to maintain the reason you have to be angry. Do something to break your regular pattern.
9. Take Full Responsibility
It is never anyone else’s fault that you are angry. No one can make you feel anything without your permission so please stop giving it. Your energy would be far better used to create a life and a business that you want rather than spreading it around making yourself upset and un-resourceful.
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